POOR LITTLE MM
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| Fri, 12-11-2009 - 5:29am |
(posted before by one of the CL's :-)) Very good!
Once upon a time there was a MM. There was something missing in his life. Maybe it was missing something in his marriage, or it's just something inside of him. Regardless, he had a life that was less than fulfilling. Enter OW. She thinks he is wonderful and intelligent and sexy. They make mad passionate love for years. She waits for his calls, emails. She tells him how happy she would make him IF ONLY he would leave wife to be with her. Man, wouldn't that make anyone feel like a prince among men.
Then W finds out or is suspicious. MM gets tired of having to find ways to sneak out and see OW, and he's tired of listening to OW complain that she wants more time with him. MM starts to tell OW he can't do this anymore. OW begs and pleads- no MM, I love you, please leave to be with me. I'll wait for you forever. Meanwhile, wife is saying- please, we are a family, we can work through this, think of the children, the history, I'll try to be more fun in bed. So, now MM has 2 women who think he's the cat's meow.
Finally, under the guise of "doing the right thing", he stays with the wife. For a while, he lives with that "heroism" feeling, that in the end, he did the honest thing and stayed with him family. That he SACRIFICED for the good of his family. And also for the good of OW, cause she was oh, so unhappy in that relationship and she'll find someone else.
Then, weeks and months go by. Wife is happy at first that she has her husband back. But that feeling wears off and she becomes angry and bitter. There's tension around the house, and the sex hasn't improved like wife promised it would. And NO ONE is paying any attention to poor little MM. There's no one professing their undying love. There's no one ready and waiting at the drop of a hat with a bottle of wine and a thong.
Suddenly he remembers OW. He remembers the fabulous sex, the adoration, and hell, she was a pretty good woman all-around. She was smart and fun and a good friend. And maybe she still likes me.
So, he calls, or emails. At first OW says, oh, MM I missed you so. I still think about you all the time, I still love you. MM's ego is stroked. He knows he was loved by this woman, and she still adores him. He feels better about himself, and can go back to being Mr. Do the right thing with wife. This happens repeatedly.
Finally, one day he calls OW. And she says- oh, MM, where have you been? I was sick of your crap so I found a new SG and life is going so wonderfully. I'm glad you chose wife, because I've realized things would have never worked out between us.
MM is crushed. How could she have done this? How could she have GONE ON WITH HER LIFE? After all, he was really going to leave someday.
And back to wife he goes, promising himself that he will fix his life and marriage, and that OW was just a fling to him.
More time goes on. Wife is less angry and bitter. Life settles back to the mindless routine it was in Chapter one of this story. This life is not so bad, after all. But MM misses OW. Now he becomes happy for her, that she found happiness with another, because a part of him realizes he really did hurt her.
But wait, maybe I will call her just one more time. Maybe she's not with SG anymore, I will tell her I'm sorry for hurting her, and we can be friends. Because then I won't have to feel guilty- I won't have to feel guilty for hurting her, it won't really be cheating anymore, and I still get to have someone who adores me constantly.
And MM calls again. But no answer at OW's house or cell. Then he emails- and no response. Well, she must be sick or on vacation. Surely, she can't be ignoring ME. He waits another couple weeks, and tries again. Nothing again from OW. For, you see my dear friends, she really has moved on. And no amount of adoration or apology matters to her anymore.
And MM's life is back to "normal"- as it was when this whole mess began.
Can you believe this is the fate of poor MM? After all, he was a HERO. He gave up everything for the greater good. How can wife still be upset? Can't she act like this never happened? and OW has gone with her life... what happened to these 2 women who adored me so.
MM feels like crap about himself. He starts to recognize that he created this fate for himself, and that out there in the world somewhere is OW, a woman who would have moved heaven and earth to be with him, and now she belongs to another. Someone else is holding her, someone else is making love to her.
well, maybe I'll call her just ONE MORE TIME....

I always enjoy reading and re-reading that post. It is so on point. I think it can help others who's xAP was MM. It also shows me as a MW what I was getting out of the A and why I sought out the attention. Thanks for reposting it here in GD.
Much love and big hugs,
E1
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right.
A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Me too! I can never read it enough times :-) I think I already read it a hundred times LOL
HUGS !!!!!!
HTGO,
Great idea to repost this.
~TTS
Hi Timetosoar!
Yes, NC absolutely IS the right tool! Your boyfriend (I am so happy for you btw!) is right about xMM holding us on a leash. You sound so happy now that you are in another relationship.
Hugs to you!
htgo
bump
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.