Post your neutralizing visualizations!
Find a Conversation
Post your neutralizing visualizations!
| Sun, 09-19-2004 - 7:23pm |
After reading the post on not hating but Neutralizing our feelings for the OM/OW I wondered if we might think about and share ways of doing this. Or thoughts we have that accomplish this.
For me it's remembering watching xOM eating. The expression *where you brought up in a barn* comes to mind when I think of that.
Which is embarrassing to admit to be honest. Geeez what did I see in him?
Someday
Edited 9/19/2004 7:26 pm ET ET by someday444
Edited 9/19/2004 7:27 pm ET ET by someday444

GREAT idea, Someday! I love it!
As I said in my original post, I visualize XOM on the toilet. Icky, yes, but it works! I guess it's "aversion therapy!" That was the only thing that worked for me at first because I did (and still do to an extent) tend to think of him as superhuman. That reminds me that he's no different from anyone else. Another one that works is visualizing him trip down the stairs or something equally humilating. :) Might be a little crazy but it keeps my fantasies in check and minimizes the "romanicizing" if the affair in my mind.
Another trick...and I don't claim that this is entirely healthy BUT it kept me from sleeping with him recently...OK, we all felt so sexy and alive with these guys. I used to picture sex with him in my head as this mind-blowing, sweet, passionate coming together experience in which I ALWAYS had the perfect body and looked just HOT! That's how he made me feel, and I bought into a lot of crap because of that. So now, I picture the sex from HIS point of view...I see my body as it is now, imperfections and insecurities and all, I think what HE might be thinking- that he's screwing a married girl AND has a great girlfriend at home. And that he doesn't have to answer to me, the MW. And that he'll look at me at work tomorrow and think, "yeah, i won. i got her into bed. too bad she's bugging me about being friends! oh, well, i got a piece of ass out of it!" and, sadly, I see myself through his eyes and think, "how stupid is she!?"
I mean, yeah, I am still to good for him
I see him walking into a Christmas party with a STUPID Santa hat that he got at the equivalent of The Dollar Store. He looked so dumb and thought he was so funny and cute! NOT! He later told me he wanted to have sex with me while he wore that hat. Why? I have no idea!
He also eats like a farm animal! He has the worst manners I have ever seen!
AND...that bench he sits on after school is just his big toilet.
Oh yea - that hickey he had on his neck once too - he is a little old for that!
Thanks for helping me start off the week!
-lazy
2. He now has to go back to having sex with his unattractive, overweight wife who knows he
cheated on her and who he told that sex with me was incredible.
3. He has to live the rest of his life with a woman who knows he cheated on her and holds grudges (she doesn't speak to several of her siblings apparently).
4. He has a crappy job and not much prospect of getting a better one.
5. He is an ex-drug addict and alcoholic.
6. He has a criminal record for drugs and stealing.
7. He never finished college b/c he was on drugs during his senior year.
8. He is extremely immature.
9. He eats sort of like a neanderthal.
Wow, what DID I see in this guy!!! :) (okay the sex WAS incredible...that must've been about it!)
He would throw a temper tantrum like my youngest child. He kissed like a fish out of water gasping for air..LOL He also would beltch almost every other moment under his breath and act like it was nothing. What the heck was I thinking? I will come back to read this post every time I THINK I miss him. Oh and he smoked cigars like they were cigarettes and I don't smoke! Thank you ladies you all are too kind to help me get past this, Drinks are on me when ever you like. Soul
I am visualizing the last time I went to see him in a bar and he was flirting with a girl from his work while I was waiting for a ride home from him. A drunk jerk came up and started talkin crap to me and so I went over to MM and interrupted his flirting. He looked at me like I was such a drag and basically told me "Later babe, I'm not ready to go yet." What an a$$. The look in his eyes was as cold as ice. I'll never forget that.
Each time I think of that situation, it reminds me that he was never the God I made him out to be in my head.
My OM could not hold a job. :(
Now mind you I wouldn't care if he could support himself, but he is always sponging off of someone. And he never gave me a darn thing during the 4+ years we saw each other. Although he always managed to buy himself anything he wanted.
I really really would have appreciated a darn card for my birthday or something. Guess I hadn't thought about how selfish he was till now. *sighs*
Someday