This is the problem, what's the solution
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| Mon, 11-29-2004 - 4:58pm |
Sorry to keep posting here. I am truly at a crossroads and feel that I have an opportunity to end it, and start NC, but I feel like it is NOT coming easy! Here's why:
My wish is that my H were as good a friend to me as my MM
that my H would be able to comfort me the way my MM does...
and that my H would know the right thing to say to me even ONCE in his lifetime,
the way MM does ALL THE TIME.
HOW do I end it with someone to whom I turn for comfort? For then I will have NO ONE to turn to????????????
I guess I can depend on myself, but I've been doing that for 8+++ years and it was just SO NICE to have someone, a shoulder to lean on..... after all, I am getting older now....
SOBBING here, because I know that in the end, all I will get is even more pain and sorrow because I know MM would NEVER leave his W and kids to be with me.

Have you tried marriage counseling? If not, Individual counseling? Doing more activities with your children? Divorce and start over again - looking for a more healthy relationship?
You are torturing yourself.
Sorry your hurting luv....me too...but I am surviving (barely), Day 3 of NC.
You say MM supports you??? You feel alone in your marriage?
I was thinking about this myself today. Here's the thing...I am feeling the lowest I have ever felt in my entire life (excluding death of my dad)...I am struggling hour to hour to hang on...and where is my "Best Friend"??? Well, he is sitting in his apartment, 5 minutes away from his W, contemplating ways to reconcile with her "for the kids"!!! He says he loves me, but is willing to lose me, and is he supporting me??? NOPE.
Think about this senario: Your doctor calls today, says you have breast cancer and need immediate surgery. Who will comfort and support you?? Really think about it?? Will your MM drop everything and run to you?? The truth is he can't, he has responsibilities that don't include you. Think hard here. As much as my H is a cold fish, and has never really been there for me emotionally....if this happen to me...I know he would not be great at consoling me, but he would be there...he would hold my hand and do whatever I asked him to do to help me(of course I would need to tell him because emotionally his is an idiot)....but he would...because he can and should. My xMM, might really want to be there, to support me, know exactly what to say and give me exactly what I needed. But he can't because he is not free or available, as much as he says he loves me, he is with his wife and family. That is his choice.
I have decided to divorce my H, because he can't/won't even try to meet my needs physically or emotionally. I need to make a life for myself, with a man who can and will meet my needs and I can do the same for him. OR I can choose to rely on MYSELF to be happy and I have never let myself down and I know what I need and want. Dammit, I want to call my xMM right now....but it won't change a thing.
Hang in there.
Hope