the problems i have caused myself
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|Mon, 11-12-2012 - 11:59am|
The last few months of the a were total termoil for me i had basically shut down every thing in my life, he said he was leaving her and the anxiety it caused me was terrible cuz i watched everything, every smile, every touch every time he was nice to her it spiraled me my head was a mess, not what thus part is about but the why.
Ok so I'm not proud but my days consisted of him if i wasn't at work i was home laying on my bed the only time i moved much was if he was coming to visit. I let him believe i was functioning but i wasn't, I'm lucky if i made dinner and even that was easy and half a$&ed. My house has only been surfaced cleaned in i can't tell u how long, quick look you'd think its clean but its not its a hidden mess and dusty at that. I'm the one who does the bills my h doesn't even look at them. When I'm a mess i say i I'll deal tomorrow over and over. I haven't used my budget in months, we are rich and we have some good amount of cc debt but nothing that can't be handled. Well since i haven't used the budget I'm in trouble, i know have stuff past due, no money to catch it all up a few creditors are calling I've never been 30 days past due but am now and my credit is marked. Meanwhile my h has no idea and i have no explanation for him. I'm using budget and trying hard to make it up and today the gas Co called i had a shut off and didn't no, talked then into waiting till next week but I'm so stressed and its all my fault we make plenty of money to pay our bills this is nightmare. What have i done to myself?