Put me out of my misery PLEASE

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Put me out of my misery PLEASE
5
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 11:25pm

I've gone back and forth with whether to post or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 1:16am

Ahh, Dab I can see you are really hurting.

These dang triggers can come out of the blue and really knock us for a doozy. I'm sorry this is happening to you, I think most of us experience something like this at some point in our healing. For many of us, we struggle so hard with the trigger and then we have to fight our emotions and hold it all in. BTDT It sounds like this one hit you out of no where. Honestly, I don't have any magic answers, but for me I had to talk some sense to myself or else be consumed with the pain and wallow in it. Dab, I also discovered that I wasn't quite as over xAP as I thought I was when these nasty triggers would invade my entire being. As you are finding out, why and WTH is this! But seeing the letter no doubt reminded you that the 2 of you were a "couple" at the dance studio and it set off a tsunami of emotions for you. You could try to approach it by acknowledging ok this is happening, I'll work through it the best I can and get back to my real life. Fake it til you make it, if you will. Dab, I also learned here on EAS to have a plan in mind when I was hit with a trigger. It took a while but I developed one, but by that time the triggers were getting fewer and fewer. Hang on, ride the ride and let it make you stronger. Hugs,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 4:00am

Hi Dab



I have to say ...Now that would SUCK....especially out of the blue... i had some medical results for xAP arrrive at my address with his name and i looked twice at that whistfully (THEN).... it jolts the old heart strings...horrible horrible and no one deserves that 5 months out... awesome job by the way .... i spose it goes to show things can catch us out when we least expect it... look on the bright side.. at least H didnt get the mail first ....jeeez



I hope it is a temporary blip...cos those triggers are buggers -

New Choices, New Chapter,


New Challenges,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 8:41am

Dab,
big hug! What a horrid trigger; I am so sorry that happened to you and I'm so sorry that you're hurting so. Take heart, though, and don't add to your suffering right now by beating yourself up that you're thrown for a loop five months out. Be patient and loving with yourself. A trigger like that would have thrown just about everyone, anytime, and you're not 'behind' or 'deficient' because you're upset.

As far as you debating whether or not to post, please don't ever feel like you have to take a backseat to others when you're needing support - even if the board is hopping with drama. You step right on up to the front and get it out there that you need some love. Okie dokie?

Today is a NEW day. Remind yourself that you are 5 big months out and that you're 5 big months on your way to being healed. Triggers happen (sh*t happens), but you're going to get through this and you, my dear, are going to be fine. You can do it.

hugs and head rubbins,
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 2:43pm

Good afternoon dab,

How's it going? I was out running errands this morning. I thought of you and wondered how you were holding up today. Those triggers can sometimes come from outta space. I passed a hotel this morning that xAP and I visited just once and I can't type the words I used when I saw it. And the fact he asked me to pay half - the nerve. Anyway, I hope you get through this and let it make you stronger and more resilient against future triggers. Do something nice for yourself, hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2010
Fri, 09-24-2010 - 5:20pm

Thank you all for your words.