In a quandry and need my fellow EASers advice and HELP!!

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
In a quandry and need my fellow EASers advice and HELP!!
18
Mon, 10-25-2010 - 11:46pm

Hello all,

Well, I made it thru Monday and did not have to run into xAP.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2010

A birthday with alcohol and and exAP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007

I'm thinking along the lines of what Melinda said. Don't do it. Why?

Or do you want to?

If not, then very nicely tell the organizer of this shindig you would rather not celebrate this year. Why put yourself in a position to be around

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
You are right M. I am going to make the rules for my party. I am not a drinker at all, so I would not be under the influence of alcohol. Maybe I don't even want a party. At least not with them. I will tell this girl that there is too much going on at home and I can't go out with them. It is the sure truth. The getaway with H is what I am really looking forward to. Party would just be an escape. Thanks for setting me on the straight and narrow before I did something stupid!! I can't wait until Wednesday...I have a T appointment. :) Hearts<3
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

Yikes!!!

I'd OPT out.

Personally, I'd say something like, "Ahhh, Id really like my husband to be there and going out just isnt his thing - anyother ideas?" That's when you take the Invite

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004

Happy early Birthday Heartofsix:smileyhappy:

Could you change the event into

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010

This one appears tough but the reality is...what are you capable of? Can you sit thru a party with exAP and not be totally freaked out and distracted whether H is there or not...can you? Only you know your capabilities. How big is the venue? Can you be there and not really notice or interact with exAP?. I agree that is your day and I realize that its tough in the sense that your friend is trying to do something nice for you for a very special day. I do like the idea of

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2007
You could also just say " yeah--- let's do a girls night!"
You could even skip the bar and do a chick flick and dinner. It's your birthday! Turning forty is a big milestone birthday where your supposed to care less about what people think and be your own person. Start it with shutting out xAP. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2010

I like the girls night out idea as well.

It will be very hard to go to a

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010

Happy Birthday in advance Hearts!

I have to agree with everyone that the party scene doesn't sound like a good idea. Under any circumstances, I don't think going to a party where there is a mix of men, women and alcohol without your H is a good idea. That was one of the downfalls of my marriage (way before I ever had an A). I would do things all the time without my exH (then H). My excuse - he is introverted and I felt like I had to babysit him and never had any fun. So, I would attend events without him, drink and flirt my butt off. I'm SO glad I'm not that woman anymore.

You have the power to complete avert this situation, so do it!

Bodhi

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010

Hey everyone,

So, here's my thought.

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