The question of closure

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
The question of closure
4
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 6:57pm
I am at NC with XMM (again...My post last week of "needing my butt kicked" confessed my poor judgement). I feel that NC is the best and only way to move on from an affair and the effects it has on those involved. And that's where I plan to stay.!!!!

However...........I have been wondering .......If you had the chance to have the last word with your XMM/XMW, would you??? Would it leave room for re-entry? Would it show a side of you that is compassionate or aggressive? Every affair is different and ends in a different way. What would you say?

Here's what I would say ( a condensed statement) and you tell me if it would be room for re-entry or not? I had rehearsed this many times,(probably 100 times) upon starting NC and ending the affair.

My words:

*****XMM- I have told you many times that I can't do this affair thing anymore because I'm not a player, and can't pretend to be one. I am the way that I am regardless if my marriage is bad or good. I know you are where you need to be and will choose to remain with your family. I want you to be happy and maybe one day you will have a woman in your life that can meet your needs and maybe just knock you off your feet. Take good care of yourself. I Love you****

I could say much more but I won't

Now I know that is probably NOT the thing to say but having the personality I have , it's what I feel. But also maybe it's my personality (lack of strenght of it, is what provoked me to get in the affair). BUT it is over...and I am happy to say I'm moving on slowly but surely. ONE DAY AT A TIME.

all comments and opinions are welcomed.

Oh and 1 more thing............In another post a long time back I said this but I'll say it again. This board and all of you here have helped me in many, many ways, whether you realize it or not. I want to say THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!

TCOM

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:19pm
TCOM

What would I say, PISTALS at 10 paces and you don't get one.

Think that would just about remove any possibility of re-entry, and would get me free room and board for the rest of my natural life.


Now as for yours, it would in courage him to hunt you again, DROP THE I LOVE YOU STUFF, and the state of your marriage good or other wise is not something he needs to know about, and his marriage is his problem and more then likely a good deal less of a problem then he let you think.

In short to warm and fuzzy, he would see it as weakness to be exploited.

JMNSHO

Free

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:33pm
How about-"My sympathy to your next victim. I hope she catches on much quicker than I did"

Just a little break-up humor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 8:42pm
I loved your comment*****What would I say, PISTALS at 10 paces and you don't get one.*****

As far as the rest.... The words I wrote will NEVER be said to him. I think I just needed to post them to get them out of my head.

Thanks for you comment. You ALWAYS know the RIGHT thing to say!!!! :)

TCOM

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 8:45pm
Great comment!!!! Thanks