A question for everyone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2012
A question for everyone?
Tue, 12-11-2012 - 7:02pm

How long ago did your A finish? 

How long did it last?

How often do you still think about your xap?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2011
Sun, 12-16-2012 - 2:03pm

really now, I THOUGHT I posted a reply 6 hours ago, but apparently not..and in it I referred to another comment but had the name wrong. People, this is what HAPPENS when you get old!

Back to the question -I ended my 12 yr A almost 8 months ago. I stilll think of xAP every day, or at least he crosses my mind several times a day. I don't feel the pain I used too, occasionally some sadness but not the real pits and never for very long. I hope one day he will leave through my ear and never come back. Clearly, there's not a whole lot in the  way blocking his exit!

~ Daisy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
Mon, 12-17-2012 - 10:51am

Hi Tily,

Great post and I am thankful for the replies.  It helps so much to know I’m not alone in this journey!

My 5-yr A finally ended for good two and a half months ago.  I tried to end it several times in the last two years.  XAP was very persistent and I had trouble setting those boundaries! Imagine that!

I think about XAP all the flippin’ time!!!  Making me crazy!  And, he and I live and work in the same part of town, so random sightings are always a possibility, which indeed happened two days ago.  Saw him in his truck on the road.

And it hurt.  And I have to continually remind myself that the A was not good for me and that I did the right thing in ending it.  I have to continually remind myself that XAP is not my type, etc. etc.  All of which is true.

Crazy to me that something that I know isn’t good for me, or not that attractive to me, can have such a hold on my thoughts.

I am just trusting that time will continue to make things clearer and clearer.