Question Pertinent to the 4.5 months out Stage

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Question Pertinent to the 4.5 months out Stage
15
Sun, 02-27-2011 - 9:22pm

Let me preface the question with a tiny backstory.

For the most part, the 4 month out stage....is primarily STEADY and MANAGEABLE...yet I still get the occasional pangs of emotion - whatever they may be...(sadness, longing, curiosity, remorse, the whole shabang)

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010

KIM,

GUILTY.

Yes, I am definitely angry. I dont have a full grasp on WHY. Other than I know that Anger is a secondary "cover" for other emotions.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010


I don't think there is value in the obsesssive thinking - I think it's habit - one that must be replaced by another habit (based on the idea that you can't just "quit" a habit but must replace it.

TRUE TRUE TRUE....I suppose its just easier and more decadent to sit and obsess.

what IS your cycle?

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010

Hi all

This is why I frikkin love this site.

Im reading through the thread, totally relating to it all but then ....WHAM... that excellent post about anger. I hadnt really thought a lot about that part. While Im not at the 4-5mth mark, I AM SO ANGRY!!!!

I am definately angry as all hell at my exAP said all this amazingly loving things and totally sucked me into an image that he wanted to portray. Im angry that he ten decided that was inconvenient for him and he pulled away over many months. Im angry as sh$t that he had no interest in stopping me from ending it and then assumed Id be up for a shag when it suited him. Im angry that he was on a dating site the whole time of the A and lied to my face over and over about it.

Mostly I am angry at my fugging self!!! For being so easily led along and lied to, for so quickly throwing every ounce of dignity and morality down the toilet. Im angry at myself that I was/am too worried about not looking 'easy going'

You are what you consistently do
Community Leader
Registered: 05-23-2003
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 10:32am

Yeah, anger is a tough one for a lot of people, I think.

    

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 11:00am

Thanks So Much Kim,

I am REALLY going to take this LOOK INSIDE at WHY im feeling the anger to heart.

I need to.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010

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