I have enjoyed reading this thread ... and I have been thinking about what my "random thoughts" are. Some pertain to me, and some pertain to parts of other's stories.
Here are a few (in no particular order):
* I can live happily without a husband/partner ... while partnership in a romantic sense is wonderful, i am fortunate to have other loving relationships in my life.
* My H leaving and giving us the space to do our own work has, without a doubt, been the right thing for us, whether we reconcile or not.
I thought it was the worst thing at the time, but it has turned our relationship into something so deeply meaningful and authentic. After DDay, I walked on egg-shells, felt too unworthy to ever have a "negative" emotion, to express needs/wants/desires to him. Well NOW, I can get angry, I can be human and have REALLY bad moments and ask HIM for support & understanding.
* Humor has helped us heal
* Forgiveness is a gift, and should be offered with loving kindness, and not conditioned on the other person's (in)actions. It is an easy thing, to say *you* forgive someone, another to show it.
* People mess up, life is long, learn your lessons and move on.
* I still struggle, some days more than others.
* My H is my best friend. I am his Best Friend. I can now say that and know it to be true.
* I love my alone time.
* Being controlled isn't a consequence - it is being CONTROLLED. Being emotionally/verbally abused IS NOT A CONSEQUENCE - it is verbal/emotional abuse.
* IC/MC i would dare to say, is what i recommend as essential to re-building. If we would have had the skills within the relationship to begin with then, well, we would have used them. What magically changes about a couple's skill set after Dday?
* Resiliency is partly willingness/ability to think new thoughts.
* I am more honest with myself and others than I've ever been (that's the truth :)
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Here are a few (in no particular order):
* I can live happily without a husband/partner ... while partnership in a romantic sense is wonderful, i am fortunate to have other loving relationships in my life.
* My H leaving and giving us the space to do our own work has, without a doubt, been the right thing for us, whether we reconcile or not.
I thought it was the worst thing at the time, but it has turned our relationship into something so deeply meaningful and authentic. After DDay, I walked on egg-shells, felt too unworthy to ever have a "negative" emotion, to express needs/wants/desires to him. Well NOW, I can get angry, I can be human and have REALLY bad moments and ask HIM for support & understanding.
* Humor has helped us heal
* Forgiveness is a gift, and should be offered with loving kindness, and not conditioned on the other person's (in)actions. It is an easy thing, to say *you* forgive someone, another to show it.
* People mess up, life is long, learn your lessons and move on.
* I still struggle, some days more than others.
* My H is my best friend. I am his Best Friend. I can now say that and know it to be true.
* I love my alone time.
* Being controlled isn't a consequence - it is being CONTROLLED. Being emotionally/verbally abused IS NOT A CONSEQUENCE - it is verbal/emotional abuse.
* IC/MC i would dare to say, is what i recommend as essential to re-building. If we would have had the skills within the relationship to begin with then, well, we would have used them. What magically changes about a couple's skill set after Dday?
* Resiliency is partly willingness/ability to think new thoughts.
* I am more honest with myself and others than I've ever been (that's the truth :)
* without EAS ... there would have been NO WAY.
Power Monday ... here we come.
TU.
I like it too :)
I'm working hard to not let XAP drag me down.
I used to blame all XAP's actions on "The Situation" (not the dude on Jersey Shore!) but he was in control of the situation.
I don't think I realized just how low my self esteem had gotten. Building it back up bites.
I'm excited they added some new times at my yoga studio. I'm going today at noon - a perk of being self employed. :)
My son and I had fun watching the Ravens play yesterday - mainly because we just watched The Blind Side!
Bodhi
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