Realizing some things

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Realizing some things
7
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 9:38am

Since being apart from ex-ap for over three months-havent seen him in four- and immersing myself in therapy I have learned quite a bit so far about myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2009
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 10:07am

Wow, I could have written your post myself. I have been hugely co-dependent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 10:22am
Hi Renewal,

I think we are at the same point in some areas. I feel something inside of me that wants to be filled, right now I am on extra alert that I don't make choices that I would of in the past. I know in time our choices will come from the best place possible naturally and I think in these next months we will see different growth as we leave behind our old behaviors. I know I have codependency issues and it's taking alot of work to keep myself aware and refocused. Sometimes I feel really sad, there is freedom in that sadness though and it's not as scary as it once was. Renewal I think you are doing great, you are honest with your emotions and very willing to see the bigger picture. Hugs to you:)
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 12:28pm

Thanks Jen and Heartache.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 12:39pm

((((Renewal)))))))

Thank you so much for opening up like this - and letting us see into you like this! That takes ENORMOUS COURAGE!!!

Im in your codependent boat, sister - Im throwin you an oar in the healing library!!! I just KNOW this resonates with you.

I hear ALLLLLL OF WHAT YOURE SAYING!

Even if NOW, you're feeling EMPTY - that's a place to start from - and PERSONALLY...NO! I dont feel that wanting something to pour your passions into, wait let me rephrase that wanting something FOR YOURSELF to pour YOURSELF INTO...Isn't asking too much!!!

God Creates us with special talents and purposes - I personally think it's up to all of us, to figure out and fulfill that purpose. Some of us....ME INCLUDED are still searching to find out what that is.

I think you're VERY VERY VERY smart to apply what you're learning about yourself and your "codependency" to situations with people you encounter now. Like not giving yourself away too much (dont like labels but you know! you and I read the book years ago! and decided that CODEPENDENT FIT yet we just didnt apply the knowledge - we probably just continued on being codependent with our kids) not knowing any better :)

YOU ARE A FABULOUS WOMAN!!!!

M

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 3:47pm

(((Renewal)))

Reading your post just sent a flutter to my heart. Do you realize how far you have come? How much you have grown? Wow, woman. You have a lot to be proud of. The soul-searching and truth-seeking hard work that you've been doing is shining through your posts. I am so proud of you.

<

Oct. 12, 2010 -- began my personal search and rescue mission.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 4:17pm

Renewal -

You are recognizing some very important issues! That's half the battle. Keep up the work. I think you do need to explore why you want to be needed, yet feel overwhelmed and suffocated by your H's neediness. It could be that you just aren't ready to reconnect with him now that the A is over. I'm not qualified to say anything more on the subject since I'm single. :)

Inspiration is everywhere! Make a list of things you would like to do, and pick one! You're right, it isn't going to jump out at you - it's up to you to grab it.

Bodhi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Wed, 01-19-2011 - 8:37pm

Thank you for al the great responses!