Really Bad Night!!
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Really Bad Night!!
| Sun, 05-15-2005 - 9:44am |
It was bound to happen, H and I went out last night with some friends and right away ran into XOM and his new girlfriend. We all spent most of the evening together. It was very uncomfortable, no it was awful. I had to put on a act, smile, talk to people and pretend to be enjoying myself. XOM and I didn't talk to each other any more than we had to. New girfriend (who we all know) didn't seem to be having a very good time. Don't know what that was about (don't care). Another male friend spent most of the evening talking or dancing with me and asking me if I was alright. I guess you don't have to be a brain surgeon to see what was going on. Except for my husband who was fine with everything. We had a fight when we got home, if you could call it that. He couldn't figure out why I was mad because he turned me down when I asked him to slow dance. He said I knew he didn't really like to dance and told me to dance with the other friend. I was in really bad shape after we got home from all the stress of having to deal with everything. I think he thinks I was being overly emotional about a dance. I was, the pain in my stomach from seeing XOM and girlfriend together was very bad. Seeing them walk away holding hands was devastating. I didn't sleep most of the night, I am really sick today. I thought I was doing a little better, this was quite a setback. I don't know how to handle this, I have leaned on my best friend for so long, I never realized what an addiction it was. Thanks for listening

I am sorry that you had such a rough night. I know that I think I am indifferent and I am starting to make progress and then something happens or somehow I end up grieving all over again. It is especially hard for me when H lets me down. I want the comfort and fantasy that was xmm. Not the reality that is my H. I hope that you are feeling better today and are moving on. Even though it was tough you made it through! You did it! You did not cave and you stayed strong.
<<>> and support I know it is tough but you can do this!
depressed2005,
Oh! I can only imagine how hard it was to see them together and also holding hands. I think that would twist the knife for me too. You and I have both made almost unworkable situations to recover from since we can't just walk away from xOM/xMM since they are going to be around a lot.
I can only guess that H turning you down to dance was sort of symbolic of you "turning back towards H for support" etc after the A period - knowing xOM won't be there anymore - and your H letting you down. You do need to let H know that you need him to be there for you and it goes deeper than a dance - that you need him emotionally to be your other 1/2 and to be there even when he isn't 100% up to it.
All I can say is that our minds are wonderful things and will accept - over time - almost anything we have to go through. I can imagine the pain you're in, but your mind *will* adjust to the reality of seeing them together and it may be painful but it won't continue to be as bad as last night was.
Keep posting and pouring out your feelings here... someone wrote on another board that a message board is like a journal that talks back to you.... so talk to us.
WIP
Depressed,
I am going through the same thing. This post is like a journal. The XOM i was seeing for 7 months, I felt like he was my best friend. We talked everyday, emailed, IM'd. We couldnt wait to see each other (we would both say...I miss you so much...and I cant wait until we see each other next...) And then its just like someone turn off the light. No gradual dimmer...It has been 2 weeks since we last talked, and I am dying. You are having such a hard time because u still run into him. I am having a hardtime because I was living in this fantasy... and now I have to deal with this alone too. But I am so proud of you, for being so strong, and not letting him "see" he was getting to you.
I am trying to be so strong too. I posted something under "Please Help" if you care to read it and comment. everyone has been such a great help...when I feel i need to call him or need that "fix" you were saying...Gosh I can relate so much with how u describe this as an addiction..Thanks for listening..
Tryingtodealwiththis