Really Looking at XAP - Physical Looks?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2006
Really Looking at XAP - Physical Looks?
15
Tue, 02-02-2010 - 3:40pm

I did not know how to put that discussion title out there, but I read somewhere ( maybe it was even here) about when we have A's, that we date down so to speak.


I was thinking about my XAP and I realized, what

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 9:54am
Can't critisize XAP's looks, she looks fantastic to me. If I'm honest I've been with women who were classically better looking but non that excited me anywhere near. Combination of looks, sex apeal, brains, and control had me eating out of her hand. A certain haughty coolness that kept her always just out of reach helped too. This is doing me no good. Now I want to call her!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 11:54am

I'm thinking you all need a refresher course in Chemistry to remember why looks have nothing to do with it.


Actually when we have chemistry with someone, it's not exactly flattering. In fact, some might call it insulting.



Why? According to Harville Hendrix our brain dumps PEA when we identify someone who can:



1. Finish our childhood business.
2. Give us back what we lost to the socialization process of growing up

Now, if you want a


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2007
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 7:36pm

"2. Give us back what we lost to the socialization process of growing up"


I see this with my H. He has many nurturing qualities that I didn't get from dad. I think it is a good thing though because

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 9:49pm

Oh, my gosh. I did find that funny. But also, the nice side of me thought, "ah. ugly people need love, too!" ha.

Gee, I'd wished I'd recognized my Daddy-Issues while I still had the body to capitalize on it. I bet I could have made some serious dough swinging on a pole!

On my hotness scale, X is an 8. I'm an 8. H is an 8. That Latino dude in the elevator this morning was an 11. Sometimes I'm sorry I'm no longer a fallen woman! ahahahah.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2005
Thu, 02-04-2010 - 12:05am

xAP and I met online and I got emotionally connected to him before I ever really saw him in person. So, he was very attractive to me in matters of the heart and personality.

That being said, he is "cute" - he's shorter which I like because I am and has beautiful brown skin because he is part spanish and I have realized I am now attracted to that look in men (black hair, dark brown eyes) slightly balding and for his age, he has a very nice body with very nice arm muscles. However, no, I prob wouldn't have looked his way had we met in person first before knowing each other.

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