really through get support from U YA'LL

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2003
really through get support from U YA'LL
6
Fri, 01-16-2004 - 8:57pm
sorry came over here i really through get some supported i through all understand what going through.i don't get soem ladies can post here anytime and cry but if post saying sad im got see a doc.i don't need this bye
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Sat, 01-17-2004 - 6:45pm
Hi kim,

I would like to reply to some of your posts but, the truth is, I have trouble reading and understanding them. Do you speak a language other than English?? Not trying to be mean or anything....I just have a hard time understanding what you write. Sorry....wish I could help. I do hope things get better for you!

Sincerely, mpjcmom

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Sat, 01-17-2004 - 7:11pm
hi mom me kimmy i have never name here i love the summer and hate cold winter. sorry trouble reading my post yes i speak english born here usa. i have dyslexia i have trouble writing my post here i leave words out and also resever the letters.i know girls have trouble reading them i try so hard but something i have to live all my life.about my special mm sorry sound like i did here but i need some supported from ppl who know what going through as you know something just can't talk.no i do not nee d a doc just talking to you all helps me.but i do know he has love me own way.just hurting rigth .hugs kimmy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
Sat, 01-17-2004 - 11:32pm
A concern is the duration of time and the huge age difference between you and XMM. You said earlier that you were a teenager of around 16, and he was 46 when you first became attracted to each other. While you waited to have IC, I do think your emotional and physical attraction to someone this much older may be a sign of some other issues you may have - perhaps relating to your father/daughter relationship and needs. I do believe that this 30 year age difference led to the recommendation of professional help, not your writing skills.

In all sincerity, I think you might wish to consider therapy, along with the support of posting here on this board. Many of us here have been in therapy. This can be a very good thing, certainly not an insult.


Edited 1/17/2004 11:37:28 PM ET by iam_ok

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2003
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 2:58am
kimmy, i'm not the best person to give advice, but maybe you're like me in that you would probably benefit from working on your self-esteem for a start. I posted some time last week about my own slipping self-esteem, and I got loads of good advice and encouragement from everyone here, and I'm going to summarise that and put it here for you to see. To the rest, hope you don't mind that I paraphrase and steal shamelessly from your posts, and add in my own two cents' worth ...

1. Find a team sport you like, and get involved in a team that's made up of like-minded people who are in it for FUN, and not so much to WIN trophies and stuff. The exercise and the camaraderie will do you a world of good.

eg. softball, soccer, etc

2. Read upbeat stuff.

3. Reach out to friends and family. Rely on your girlfriends. After months of silence, I told my girlfriend about my pathetic story, and just having her listening ear made me feel so much better. Ok, so maybe her advice to resort to physical violence wasn't the most practical advice, but her unwavering affirmation of her friendship was enough for me.

4. Put aside a certain amount of time for yourself every day.

5. Listen to good music that puts you in a good mood. No Barry Manilow songs. No Colin Raye's "Love Me". Just happy silly songs like Sesame Street's "Rubber Duckie", and Mac Davis' "Lord It's Hard to be Humble". And lift-me-up songs like Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" and Destiny Child's "Survivor".

6. Every morning look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're lovable. You may not believe it at first, but after a while it grows on you. Also tell yourself that you've living a life of truth, not of lies and deceit. That's the best thing about ending the affair.

7. Pamper yourself - give yourself a treat, go for a facial, get a new haircut...

good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 9:59am
hi wasnotthinking thanks for being for me trying so hard to get over him but as you know so hard.this man been in my life for so long just hurts like crazy. but one thing i did do is put all the pictures of us away for now to hard to look at us.but watching wedding tape when my brother and W got married 11 years ago my ex-mm is in their.i do know something happen between us and he knows it to.but i well ahve to try get on with my life. hugs kimmy thanks sweetie caring about me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Mon, 01-19-2004 - 10:11am
hi iam ok thanks for helping me about issues about me being with much older man.no problem with me and dad we have very relationship . very close to my parents they been very happily married for 44 years.so no not looking for dad at all. just fell in love much older man sure not they only this has happen to.i think in way i made him feel good that much young lady would fine him good looking. that's why been coming here you all know what going though. thanks kimmy