Rebuilding and having troubles
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Rebuilding and having troubles
| Fri, 09-25-2009 - 11:50am |
Well, I've been doing the NC thing for awhile now.
| Fri, 09-25-2009 - 11:50am |
Well, I've been doing the NC thing for awhile now.
Lost:
Since my xAP left the company I work at 1 month ago I found my desire went to zero. My body said - if I can't have AP then forget it - and now that the A is over I have just got to realize that I need to adjust my expectations.
I look at it this way: A-sex was a couture gown designed just for my body - incredibly form fitting, vibrant, and I glowed in it. Marriage sex is like a favorite sweater I pull out when the weather gets cold - soft to the touch and warm. I can't wear that couture gown day in- day out - it would fall apart or start to rub the wrong way. The favorite sweater will always wrap my body up and make me feel safe and secure.
Maybe some long-timers can tell us if the libido does bounce back eventually . . .
gal, that was a great post. You have described a lot of what I went through and a lot of what I'm still dealing with post affair sex.
One of my excuses to myself for having the affair, was I deserved it. I deserved to have desire, lust and love in my life. I honestly thought I had never felt it like I did with xAP. I craved that "in love" feeling and wanted to give love to someone. I felt I had a lot of love to offer. Bull :-) !!
That burning, raw desire for sex fades after a long marriage. But it's not all about the sex. There is so much more to consider and gal, you said it all very well.
Thank you all for the replies.
Hey LaG,
My two cents on the issue may not be worth much..i've been married only a short time but i have been with my H for over 8 years. In the beginning i felt very sexually attracted to him, especially so when there was drama and uncertainty in our relationship. But now that we're married, i don't feel that same way. So i see a correlation between drama and
Sunshine
.
Good point, sunshine. lost, she is right
LG -
Gal said :
There has been good advice given here.