A Reflection on the Past 90 Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
A Reflection on the Past 90 Days
9
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 8:49am

Well, here I am. I have "arrived" in Tweenerville and I couldn't be happier. I've been preparing my "speech" for a couple weeks now. I want it to convey all that I've learned in the past 3 months, but I am afraid there's too much to relay. There have been so many ups and downs, but now that I am here, I can look back and be grateful for all that I have learned and look forward to another 90 days full of many more lessons.


I've seen many here ask, "How do you do it? How do you keep from contacting him? How do you keep moving forward?"


To that I say, "You just do it."


You take a good, hard, honest

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 10:50am

Congrats Jane!

I just read your post about 90 Days, and as usual, it was eloquent, comforting, thought-provoking and reassuring.


As I once told you before, we used to be on the same day NC, which makes today a little of a let-down for me, but more hopeful after reading your post and knowing that 90 days really does feel good. I will get there...it will take me another 60-something days, but I will get there.

I especially liked what you said about "trusting time" and patience...we will not heal overnight, you said. I think one thing a lot of us have in common here is there we like instant gratification, feel-goods that are easy to get and have not learned patience. But, good things do not happen fast, as much as we would like them to. Waiting out this pain is like nothing I have ever experienced before, but it has got to have some rewards, it's just got to. I am learning to be calm and not have to control outcomes, just knowing time will do it's healing is what I need to believe now.


I still miss him and wish things were different for us, and I hope the day comes where that changes, but for today - I wanted to thank you,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:39am

AMEN to this post!


Have you been reading my Happiness Journal?

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2010
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:49am

Dear Jane,


I cut and pasted this posting into an email that I then sent to myself - sorta like a reminder of where I will be arriving in 76 days from now!


July 7th.

LC/NC since April 14, 2010

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:55am

You know, Jane, this is not a competition. You don't have to make all us old tweeners look lazy on your very first day on Tweener Island!! Just because you can, doesn't mean you have to! This post belongs in the Healing Library, for sure. ;)

You're rocking those wings, Grrrrlfriend.

xoxox
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 2:17pm

Just one word for you. YES!


~Stargirl~
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2007
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 2:59pm

thank you so much for sharing your lessons, you have learned many!


wonderful honest advice ~ thank you!


congrats on 90 days :)

~ life....


http://nomoreblues.wordpress.com/


Oh just leave me just get out of my head
'Cause I can't take this torture any more ~ imogen heap


happiness is a journey, not a destination ~ souza

~ life....

http://nomoreblues.wordpress.com/

Oh just leave me just get out of my head
'Cause I can't ta

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2010
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 4:14pm
CONGRATS JANE!!!!! As always, such an inspiring quote. You are a truly amazing and strong wise woman. Thank you for helping all of us along this journey...when I grow up I want to be just like you!!! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 4:54pm

Thanks all for weighing in. There's so much more, but there's only so much space :)


Livefortoday- Again, you will make it. I know that you will. You are so right about the instant gratification. It's taken some will power to learn patience, but I kind of like it. It has helped calm me down and prevented me from feeling despaired and hopeless. I am more controlled and level headed. That is definitely good stuff :) Thank you for your kinds words.


NS- Yes, another corner turned, thanks to your continued support. And many more corners ahead :) I am glad I can count on you to be waiting around each one.


TU- Aww. Wow. You are so sweet :) Thank you. I can't

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 5:35pm

Dee wrote: <>>


News Flash:


ANYONE can copy and paste a post into the Healing Library's "Wisdom and Insights" thread. If it resonates with you, this means it would resonate with many. I did it this time, as Janey's Relection post definitely belongs there, but I want you all to feel free to repost whenever someone's words speak out to you.


(((Hugs)))

   ~Iddy~