Releationships are funny

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Releationships are funny
1
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 5:58pm
I discovered the iVillage boards a couple of days ago and have been ready a few of them. I found this one today. Up until now I have responded to a few posts but have not posted any of my own messages. Part of the reason why is that I am a SM. Any way, I am not sure if I am asking for advice or just venting.

I met a MW about 2 years ago. Despite my better judgment I became involved with her. She kept telling me that her marriage was all but over and that she was just living with him until she could find her own place. Well of all things I had to go a fall in love with WM. She has two children one by this marriage and one by another relationship. I have 2 children my self. Again despite my better judgment I let her get to know my kids.

As time wore on she started doing more and more things with the husband she was supposed to be leaving. So far as to start a new company with him. Well I was getting more and more depressed and finally I gave her an ultimatum. Leave her husband or leave me. Well she chose her husband. Siting her kids as a reason. Only one of which is really his.

She said she still wanted to be friends.

Well all of that was in November of 2003. I seem to have a real difficult time getting over her. We would always have really good conversations. Even though she said she wanted to be friends we hardly talk anymore. To make matters worse we work together. I have been trying to both find a way to get over her and get a different job. Neither of which is working out like I planned.

Every time I think I am at a point where I am OK with things being over she will look at me suddenly and tell me she is still in love with me or calls to talk about some really good or bad thing that has happened to her. Then nothing. When I try to talk to her about anything she always says "I don't want to talk about that right now". I just wish she would either let it end or something.

-B

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 12:39am
Ending a once intimate relationship is always tough!!! I'm sorry that you're going through this. The fact that you're single means the WORLD should be your oyster. Letting go is hard but only until we find someone else to fill those voids in our lives... Have you even tried dating someone else and someone single?

If not, make this week a priority to arrange a date for next weekend!

And as to the MW, trying to stay friends with her will always hurt you more then help you. Getting a new job would be a wonderful solution and change of scenery but until that happens, start treating her like any other co-worker ... be polite but cool at the same time. Instead of acting depressed around her, start acting nonchalant and as if you're thrilled with life.

When you feel lonely and need someone to chat with, POST here instead.

Good luck to you!