reminder to myself: HE'S A JERK!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
reminder to myself: HE'S A JERK!
6
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:16pm
ugh...I don't even LIKE him! Get over it! He just wants the sex, with as many women as he can get into bed....married, single, dead, he doesn't care. What a slimeball!

This will hopefully serve as a reminder to myself so tomorrow when I'm missing him and feeling sad and sorry for myself I can come back here and remember what I'm missing.....NOTHING!! Yuck!

On the other hand...H is such a sweet, wonderful man!!! He makes me strawberry pancakes every weekend before I get out of bed... :) And he LOOOOOOOOVES me. :)

Anyone else feeling suddenly clear-headed?? I'd love to hear your slimeball OM stories...or wonderful H stories. It feels so good to write this instead of the usual, pathetic, poor me things I've been posting the past couple of weeks. I feel so lucky to have what I have.....I'm not going to f- it up again, dammit!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:23pm
I know..it's horrible. My husband does anything I ask him aruond the house. He fixed my car today..which saved us about $300 with him doing it. He picks up the kids and drops them off. He is perfect. He is very good looking and very sweet. However, I am not attracted to him in the LEAST bit. We have been married for 8 years. I still think of OM ALLL the time. I can't even hardly make myself kiss H. It's horrible. I can't stand having sex with him either. I pretend I am sleeping so he won't try anything. I wish I could channel my feelings for OM in that way to H....any magic pill for that??
Avatar for mikkolover
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 1:58am
Hi, no secret pill, i know, but maybe trying to find that person you fell in love with inside this unappealing thing. It is a hard process, and even now, I still don't look at him and get goosebumps or anything, but sometimes, in a certain light, he still has something. Even though OM is better looking, and one look sends my pulse racing.. I know all that, but it would never last, its not long-time love, and thats what we all want in the long run, no? good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 2:23am
Amen! I'm new to the board but I should have been here a long time ago. My om played me not once but twice over the last year. I was very vulnerable & he took advantage. My h found out everything & is still willing to try to work things out after everything I put him through. I don't deserve it but I'm so thankful for him. I almost lost everything because I was willing to believe all of the sweet sounding lies om fed me. I just wish I could've seen it sooner. All of his friends are on my side. He even lost a few because he was/is such a scumball. But the blinders are off & reality is finally setting in. Good luck w/ your marriage! It's good to know I'm not the only one out there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 12:55pm
My OMM wasn't a jerk, he was a very decent guy (or as decent as a guy whose cheating on his W can be considered). The thing I always have to keep reminding myself of is that well, he just wasn't very bright. He was a hockey player and I think he may have taken a puck to his head too many times. My H on the other hand is very smart, successful, funny, polished, and is the best conversationalist I've ever known. I would have ultimately wound up very bored with OMM. Once the thrill of those great looks and body wore off, I'm not sure what we would have done for entertainment...

Anyway, it does help to hang on to these things. When we're in the throes of missing them we gloss over these issues and just remember the good feelings. Before I get too carried away missing him, I always try to recall a few times when I needed to explain things to him, when I had to talk him out of some brilliant investment ideas, when I had to give him legal advise on how to "wind down" his business because he had absolutely no business sense and ran it right into the ground, when I had to explain to him that there was a war going on in Iraq...

It does the trick. Love, Mo.

mo 7-18-10

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2003
Tue, 05-11-2004 - 1:42pm
ditto. see post above "And Why Should I Care About This!" Reminder to self: XMM is a jerk!

Clarice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Wed, 05-12-2004 - 8:20pm
Mo...I just had to tell you that your post made me laugh sooo hard. hee hee Being sexually attracted to someone is nothing like being intellectually or emotionally attracted to someone. We'll all be wrinkly and ugly in about 20 years anyway, right?! Better to be with someone you can hold a decent conversation with.

I am happy to say two days later....I am still remembering that OM is not-so-great and H is wonderful. I think it really, really helps to remember that OM is such a slimeball....more than feeling sorry for myself and remembering the "good" things anyway.

I am feeling happy today. I finally feel that I'm on the road to doing the right thing...for myself, my H, my marriage, my life. :-) Yippee!!

From,

Not a schmuck for too much longer....