A Request for some Positive Juju

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
A Request for some Positive Juju
9
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 9:19am

Good morning everyone!

Today I celebrate day 27 of NC, and although it has not been easy by any means (I've had my share of ups and downs), to be able to say that I've made it this far is empowering.

Despite the strength I've found these past 27 days, I am still far from "recovered." I've had set backs. I've had some extreme lows. And today I need some strength. Today I must contact xAP about his upcoming assignments for our next issue. I drafted the email over 2 weeks ago and have held off sending it until the very last minute. Today is the day. I wish I didn't have to communicate with him. It's in this moment that I realize what a mistake it was to enter into an A with someone I MUST work with. I can't imagine how I will make it through our upcoming shoots- I've started the visualization (I will be strong, I will smile, I will be professional, and I will make it)... but for today, I need to make it through this communication.

I am prepared for the emotions it will create and that is why I came here to post. If you have a moment, please send some positive thoughts my way- whether its prayer, whether its a cyber hug- I really need the strength of all of you behind me today- especially those brave ones who work with xAP everyday :)

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 9:35am

Jane,

Are you making it harder than what it has to be right now? Sounds like you already have a plan to smile be proffessional to get through it. So believe in yourself and toss his junk aside, have the confidence to show yourself and him that hes JAM, you got this covered. 27 days NC....been a rough road to get this far eh? The road will get easier once you kick those pebbles out of your way and today is one of those pebbles.

Do your job...no more no less. Send the work related email and walk on; you can do this!

Be strong
hugs

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 9:45am

Janie, janie bo-banie, banana fanna fo-fanie, mee, my mo-manie, JANIE!

27 days of NC is huge! you're at a very critical juncture right now. Reading the board, you'll see that a lot of women get overly confident or lax at this point and fall off the wagon! I did!! don't let this happen to you.

You make this day about YOU, dear. Focus on you, what you want in your life, your career, your goals --- and what you DON'T want. You have practiced correct LC in your head, that's good. Stick to the script come hell or high water. don't lose your footing! don't lose your resolve! You've worked too fn hard to get to this better place and you have to OWN it, Girl!

Fake it til you make it! I like to imagine I'm Sophia Loren, soooo cool, sooo collected, sooo amazing. Nothing can penetrate that Dame's mojo. I wish you tons of Sophia juju and mojo, too!

xoxoxoxox-
Dee
Ps - pls let us know about your major success after the shoot!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 10:08am

Good Morning Jane!

BE the change that you want to see in the world! Life loves me and I love life! <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 11:23am

Janey,


Just keep it professional, girl. Remember..YOU, JANE, HIM, JAM. ;-) You are a strong, intelligent, creative woman

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 4:19pm
Thank you thank you thank you. Here goes nothing. (And yes I did wait till the end of the day).
Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 10:44am

Hi Jane,


I was involved in something yesterday that didn't allow me any time to come to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 12:30pm

Hello CSN and everyone-

I sent a very professional email last night as I was walking out of work. I felt a sense of panic as I hit the send button, but then I shut my computer down, got up, drove home and hugged my H. Later in the evening I checked my email on my phone- not even doing so to check for one from him (I honestly didn't expect a timely response)- but to my surprise he had answered almost immediately and the note was very nice. It too was professional. In the past, I would have responded to him right away- but as of yet, I have not responded. I am waiting until I have everything I need for my response before I do so.

Although I am not looking forward to having to see him a couple times in the upcoming weeks, I do feel a sense of relief that we can both be adults about this.

Good luck to you CSN and thanks to everyone for the support.

Jane

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 12:37pm

Dear Jane -


I think it is wonderful that you are waiting until you have everything together before you reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 11:31am

Thanks again for all of the support. I did it. I made it through a series of work-related emails. All professional. I feel a shift in my mind yesterday and today. The thoughts of xAP are different. He is not the most important thing to me. And I do not treat him any different than any other freelancer or co-worker. I can do this! And it's because of all of you.

Jane

Jane
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/