Woman, I have had your back since day one, and I will gladly continue. Your post oozes the hurt & extreme pain that follows when NC is broken. I can feel your brokenness right through the computer screen. You know what though, YOU WON'T MAKE this same mistake again (again). I know you have slipped in the past, but this time things seem different. You truly do seem at the bottom of the well. Only this time as you climb back out, you aren't doing it from scratch. YOU HAVE learned and grown in the last two months - NO doubt UBM. We all believe in you, and we will all continue to be here for you.
The only thing that I would say - is that your MOTIVATION for breaking no contact does matter. Understanding where you were at in the moments that lead up to the actual action of breaking no contact are important. Therein is some insight into your self-destructive behaviors. What WERE you thinking? What WERE you feeling? At what point in the breaking of NC did you wish you could just STOP ... but continued to engage? At what point in the breaking of NC could you feel yourself drowning, and instead of reaching for the surface, dove to the bottom? There are moments, split second moments, that we can always choose a different path. Understanding where those moments were, and the thinking/justifying/rationalizing you were doing as each moment of escape was ignored - IS IMPORTANT.
I'm glad you posted. You can choose to post the play by play, but what really matters is that you learned a lesson and have new resolve. I think you have the answers to TU's questions. You are bruised, but not broken. Even if you have that as your moniker :)
UBM, I admire your courage and resolve to face your own actions. You are growing and learning and I think you will take this hurt and really learn from it. I get the impression you know who is the most important person in this, you! Sometimes in the beginning of nc i would feel sorry for myself and not face me and my challenges and make this ending about everyone else except me. You aren't making any excuses and are owning your actions as yours. That is really important and an excellent step in progress. I am also glad you have off the board support to reach out too. Knowing someone is out there with a helping hand can see us through those tough spots is awesome. Take it easy tonight UBM and be kind to you. I am here for you as well:)
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Dear UBM,
(((hugs)))
Woman, I have had your back since day one, and I will gladly continue. Your post oozes the hurt & extreme pain that follows when NC is broken. I can feel your brokenness right through the computer screen. You know what though, YOU WON'T MAKE this same mistake again (again). I know you have slipped in the past, but this time things seem different. You truly do seem at the bottom of the well. Only this time as you climb back out, you aren't doing it from scratch. YOU HAVE learned and grown in the last two months - NO doubt UBM. We all believe in you, and we will all continue to be here for you.
The only thing that I would say - is that your MOTIVATION for breaking no contact does matter. Understanding where you were at in the moments that lead up to the actual action of breaking no contact are important. Therein is some insight into your self-destructive behaviors. What WERE you thinking? What WERE you feeling? At what point in the breaking of NC did you wish you could just STOP ... but continued to engage? At what point in the breaking of NC could you feel yourself drowning, and instead of reaching for the surface, dove to the bottom? There are moments, split second moments, that we can always choose a different path. Understanding where those moments were, and the thinking/justifying/rationalizing you were doing as each moment of escape was ignored - IS IMPORTANT.
Much love to you UMB,
TU.
Thanks, Iddy.
TU,
I know you have my back and I love you for it.
((((UBM))))
I'm glad you posted. You can choose to post the play by play, but what really matters is that you learned a lesson and have new resolve. I think you have the answers to TU's questions. You are bruised, but not broken. Even if you have that as your moniker :)
Love you :)
Bodhi
Thanks B.
UBM,
Just sent you a PM.
and an excellent step in progress. I am also glad you
have off the board support to reach out too. Knowing someone is out there with a helping hand can see us through those tough spots is awesome. Take it easy tonight UBM and be kind to you. I am here for you as well:)
I really appreciate the support and I wish I could have come here today and said that I handled it differently.
You really have no idea how much I need you all. Thank you for being here with me.
UBM,
I'm going to let Paul Weller tell you all that I'm feeling for you right now.
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