Is responding to his wife breaking NC?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2010
Is responding to his wife breaking NC?
3
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 2:52am

Okay, here's a new one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 10:19am

KS, your H is in deep pain right now, but do not contact XAP's W for any reason. You sent the card and she responded. End of contact. I admire her greatly for being so gracious and now you have to show the same respect. The condition of your M is between you and your H, and whatever you'd like to share with us.

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Sat, 05-15-2010 - 10:53am

I'm glad Iddy the Wise got to you before I did because my response would have been different. I am only a tweener and bow low to the superior advice of our Elders, in every respect. I hope you'll do the same.

That being said, I am sure it's difficult for you to ignore the gracious and kind note from your x-friend. I feel for you. Responding, though, IS breaking NC - no doubt about that. Perhaps H was riled by the note from her because he too is sad/angry about the loss of the couple's friendship. My very dear friend and A-confidant was in the same situation you are and her H was furious about losing his buddies. She, also, and absolutely devastated about hurting her friend. They tried to be all European and 'modern' about staying in lose contact - it went horribly and my friend was the worse for off because of it.

It's awful that H is so explosive and makes threats of D. That has got to make you feel pretty anxious and insecure. So sorry you're both going through this. I hope you'll be able to get into IC and MC to establish some boundaries. Even though we're guilty and repentant, doesn't mean we have to accept abusive retribution like phone throwing.

I'm going to have you on my mind all day today. I hope you'll feel the warm and fuzzy hugs via psychic vibes.

xoxoxo
Dee

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2010
Sun, 05-16-2010 - 11:53pm

KS,


I know what it felt like to have a H like that.