Roll Call

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
Roll Call
41
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 12:00pm

Good Monday morningSmile

Time for a roll call.  Post in, let us know you are here--how long you've been out of your affair and how you are doing on a scale of 1-10 and why :)

(((GROUP HUG)))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 7:57pm

By joe..we have a 10!!!  That's great, NoWay!

And, to use Birdsong's concept immediately...like right off the bat...I think you suffered a ghost pang!  And that was yesterday...and look, today you say 10!  Just a little fleeting anxiety blip and...gone...didn't take you down.

Next time you come to the Board, after your first attempt at signing in and getting rejected, 'refresh' instead of signing in again...and I'll bet you'll find you are logged in.  It has worked for me.

Miss you when you are not here.

((higs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 8:11pm

A 9!...excellent!!

I, too, like that ghost pang...that's kinda sorta a perfect way of describing the feeling.  Our body reacts...almost like a conditioned response...but the feeling no longer gains purchase...rather just flits away...cool...ghost pang.  Do I have that right, or have I messed that all up.

I'm thinking of a few good thoughts to send your way!  You will rock is one of them!

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
In reply to: wClarity
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 9:53pm
I am 20 months out of my 2 year A, and almost 13 months NC. I am extraordinarily busy with a very important project right now, in addition to my already hectic workload. It's actually a blessing, I have absolutely no time to think about xAP. So, I'd say I am about a 9. Angie, love, that made me shudder. Keep us updated.
Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Mon, 01-21-2013 - 11:50pm

You go, girl!

Sorry for your upcoming stress.  I hope it goes well and that you'll back at your fabulous 10.

Good luck tomorrow.

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2011
In reply to: wClarity
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 12:01am

Hi everyone I'm Andie and I am a young wife and mother it has been 2 years since I have been out of my affair but I have to see xap everyday because we live in the same apartment building. He still tries to fish and he is a creepy middle aged wierdo. I'm sure you all have read some of my posts on how he harasses me.. Anyways on scale of 1-10 I would say a 6 aswell there are several reasons why. My first reason is because my hubs and I are starting bond with each other like we use to when we got married 11 years ago. The second reason is have been working alot during the days and I didnt have to face xap so thats good. He also has to make his presense known if I am around to let me know he is there. He is also trying to befriend my dad saying he is going to give him some lemons from one of his gf's lemon tree. This creep met my dad during the a. Anyways it is just wierd. Just trying to keep on keeping on that's all. Hugs

Peace Love Andie

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 12:01am

Hey Rainyyyy!

You did not give a number, but that's okay, you're busy and preoccupied.

Not to bust your ovaries or anything, but could this be your first post where you have not mentioned how you miss the friendship?  Surprised

Stay busy Laughing

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2013
In reply to: wClarity
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 8:31am
It's part of the show. They chase one of the other Globetrotters around with a bucket of water. They throw is, the guy ducks and some poor kid gets hit. In this case it was my son and the little boy in front of us. Not funny if you ask me. My son began crying with water all over his face, shirt and hair. His coat that was sitting on his chair (he was on my lap) was wet too. Thankfully the outside was facing up and not the inside or he would have been wearing the water next to his body. Did I mention that it was 15 degrees yesterday! It still makes me mad. My husband is handling things for me. I want my money back. I didn't expect to take my little guy out for a fun outing and take him out in tears.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 10:34am
Hi Clarity! I’m still here when I can get in! Edging towards being out of my A 10 months in a couple of weeks!! I was doing well, maybe an 8 but then became unsettled after a fishing attempt in the form of a greeting card at the New Year. I also learned he is home now for the foreseeable future. I had heard this through the grapevine and was a bit fool hearty by deliberately driving past his house to see for myself. That was ridiculous and dangerous. Yes I took the sledgehammer to myself…. BUT I’m learning that you will only see someone if you look for them. I am not looking again, so hopefully I will not see. And if I do I’m prepared…… His fishing attempt did stir up some stuff so I shall say at the moment I am a 7 I’ll be 8 again soon I’m sure, but I wish I could work out what I need, to get to that elusive 10, some days I think I never will get to it, but 7 is good for now…… Hugs to you Ms Clarity Sunny Soon Xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2010
In reply to: wClarity
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 11:09am

Hello all,

Just got back from a 4-day weekend with college girlfriends!  Does a soul wonders!

But, it was in a town where XAP’s family is from AND the last time I went for my girls’ weekend three years ago, I traveled with XAP, who had purposefully scheduled his trip to be on my flight.

SO, it was weird.  And, I thought of him a lot while in the airport.  Even looked around for him…at a huge international airport!  (How stupid!)  I can share two “healthy” things though as a result of my travels.  One, acceptance that I was in a relationship with him, got to know him and that will ALWAYS be part of my life experience.  But, that’s all it is.  Just one part of my life experience, with its lessons.

Secondly, I took my 2012 journal with me and re-read most of it on the plane.  It was largely about XAP and the year-long attempts to finally end it.  I threw it away in the airport on my way home yesterday.  Yeppers.  It felt great.  And, how funny is this?  I threw it away in a garbage can that said “Good-bye” on it!  For real!

I’ve been NC since mid-August, in spite of several more fishing attempts, which are getting fewer and farther in between.  Cool!

I am completely committed to re-building my M and we are in intense MC.

Some days I am at an 8, but I still have moments where I’m at a 5.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012
In reply to: wClarity
Tue, 01-22-2013 - 11:41am

It said 'goodbye' on the trashbin?  How weird is that!...yet perfect!  Had to have felt good throwing that way...another load off and out.

I'm glad you had fun with your college friends.  Here's to good friendships *cheers!* <clink clink>

I'm happy to hear that you are totally committed to rebuilding your marriage.  You sound good...like a good solid 8...fantastic!

((hugs))

Clarity

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board