Roll call and Introductions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Roll call and Introductions.
82
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:27am

To All: (Newbies, tweeners, vets, and lurkers)


I remember that Messenger used to do this every so often

   ~Iddy~ 


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:35am

Hi Iddy -


Long time (a few months) lurker, occasional poster as I have been struggling with the ending. Was at 2 weeks NC, then we chatted and are trying to do the friends thing which is not working for me. I am still too emotionally involved. Anyway - thank goodness for you and everyone else here. It is a life-saver sometimes...literally! I am about to post for some advice right now.....glad you are the new CL!!


LFT2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:53am

Guess I'm a "tweener". Brief A ended about 5 weeks ago. NC counter at a little over 4 wks. Ran into xAP last wk and decided NOT to start my "counter" over b/c I had no control over that :) Now, I have to stop and think how long it's actually been, and I see myself not counting much longer. Want the whole sordid mess behind me.


Been M almost 19 yrs., 3 kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:13am

Hello,

M for 12 years (3 children all under 12), lurker here for months, and NC for less than a day. H knows, D-day was over a year ago but the A continued with transparency in my home. His W does not know although she constantly confronts him with 'evidence'. He continues to email me with suggestions on how to make this work for 'us': full-time friends, part-time lovers ... letting others love us in the time in between. Yikes. The saving Grace for me, is that I have hurt through this entire 'relationship'. This hurt is just different hurt: no greater, just different.

Reading the postings here has got me to today.

Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:20am

I'm married, over 30yrs., was in an affair with an old college love for about 3 years. He is married as well. I'm not quite a vet, but I've been out of the affair for over a year and half. I still struggle with some anger, some feelings of being used and his quirky personality traits that ticked me off so much. We were long distance, over 1,000 miles between us, but we managed to see each other every 6 wks. for 3-4 day mini-moons (ugh!)


I feel I understand the push/pull that happens so often in affairs. I understand the addictive highs that come from the affair. I understand why I allowed myself to put everything in my life at risk to be with him. I'm starting to get a firm grip on why I allowed myself to be so nice and accommodating for so long. I still have many unanswered questions, but they are questions that don't need an answer for me to completely heal and move on. I know that, but he still gets under my skin. Like a bad rash, he irritates me. I will always have feelings for this man, but I also have a life he was never a part of and could never be a part of.


I found EAS by Googling affair support. I shudder to think what would have happened if I had never found this board. Many many thanks to Messenger, Starr, Clarity, SNB (miss her) and the many others with whom I shared the struggle to regain our lives and sanity.


Iddy, thanks again for stepping up to the CL position. Bless You !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:35am

Hi All,


I've been married almost 9 years, but have been separated for 2.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:40am

Congratulations on your new CL Iddy!!!!


I'm a 3.5 year vet.

Onward and upward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 11:15am

Relatively new to the board, so I am a tweener, I am a soon to be single mother of two, in D process, have lived alone for 2.5 years. D has nothing to do with A. A lasted about 6 months, but I only new about the marriage for a month a half or so. But I still saw him and started to disengrate into nothing. I ended it last friday...but he emailed me yesterday (ignored it) and his wife called me yesterday.
Just after I found out he was married, I found out I was no pregnant, and I called her and told her everything. I am No longer pregnant and as of that day, started no contact. I am pretty sure that based on the conversation he and his wife had, he wont come fishing, I called her when I found out he was married and that he had hidden a new born baby and the fact that he was married. He was super angry. He was mad. He stayed away for a week or so.
Yesterday was emotionally exhausting. Of course he made me look like a lying crazy women who is obsessed with him. But me telling her that we had still been seeing one another all this time will infuriate him. I am sure once again, he made me out to be crazy and has patched it all up for them. She told him I called her, so he is extra furious with me. I think its a good thing. Maybe he will stay away. That is my hope

So if you go based on his very nasty emails, I should have no contact from him for a while. which is the goal. Do you all think he will come fishing? AS exhuasting as yesterday, I am hoping it will all work out for my benefit. let me know your thoughts. Was going to post this elsewhere.....but I was here. I know I have a long road ahead of me. I am thankful for you all and plan on getting thru this.
Please let me know your thoughts and if I need to post this elsewhere I will, just let me know, thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 11:27am

Good Morning All!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 12:26pm

Just to clarify, a Tweener is an ender who has at least 3 - 6 months of NC under their belt, so you have quite a ways to go, Siennna. Hasn't it only been a week or two since last communication? Hang in there, honey. Time will pass much quicker if you stop concerning yourself over whether he'll fish or not. Who cares? Aren't you done with him? Can't be a tweener until you are. ;-)

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 12:40pm
Hi Iddy!
I'm a long time lurker of about 5 months, and a recent poster. I'm on day 14 of NC, which is my second attempt. First time NC lasted 10 days and I had a weak moment and got one last fix. My A lasted a year and was mostly "just sex," or so I told myself. I've been married for 5 years and my xAP (wow, that felt good to type and that X sure looks nice) is much older and is married with kids. He's also very experienced at having PA's so I followed his lead and pretended I was just as cool as he was about everything. I'm so thankful for finding this board. Who knows where I would be right now without it...yikes.

Pages