Roll call and Introductions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Roll call and Introductions.
82
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:27am

To All: (Newbies, tweeners, vets, and lurkers)


I remember that Messenger used to do this every so often

   ~Iddy~ 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 12:46pm

First, Iddy, thank you for stepping up to be the leader; we're lucky to have you.

I'm 42, in my second M (6 years m'd but 11 together). I have three kids 12, 5 and 3. Met MM 20 months ago. Met him briefly at a party then started an intense online friendship, edging on EA, for 6 months before I ever saw him again. Went PA, after that. During the A, we both justified that we were 'stuck' in our Ms due to kids, finances and so forth. Neither of us were sure we could dissolve our RL Rs, irrespective of the A. It was my first (and last) A, he had cheated on his wife a few times over their 20 year R. During our A, we had a few difficult Fake-relationship issues to overcome, but, in general, I think we provided mutual and desperately needed (albeit misplaced) support and love. Our A ended 5 weeks ago when we both agreed that he needed to have a clear head to focus on his plan to end his marriage (probably after the holidays). If it were not for that, I probably would not have ended the A. Now that I'm out of the A, and the 'fog' is lifting, my thinking is clearer and I see my xAP, myself and the entire A in a new light - and it's very painful to come to grips with how I behaved. I hardly recognize myself nowadays.

My M and my H continue to disappoint me but I'm determined to deal with those issues with a clear head - my family deserves that. I still struggle intensely with missing the friendship and affection of the xAP, but I'm hopeful that time and self-work with ease the pain in time. I will take this A to my grave so I don't have the support of friends or family to help me. I can't afford therapy right now, either, and boy! do I need it. I hate to think of how bad off I'd be if I didn't have this board to turn to for help.

Paxil and EAS - Godsends!! ha.

(right now The Song is Over by the Who is on the radio. I have to go bawl on my boss' sofa for a bit. Thank God he's out of town. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 3:27pm

Hey idders :)


I love these roll calls because 1.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 3:45pm

Hi Iddy,


I’m M 23 yrs. and have been out of my A for 2 ½ years. Two children adult D and teenaged S. I had a D-day after my A ended. I have restored myself through IC and my M has been rebuilt through the hard work from both my H and me in MC.


After ending A and 6 months NC, I broke NC by responding to one of many fishing attempts. I subsequently took a path of revenge against xAP after finding out that he was going after another M woman. I realized the person I was hurting the most by taking such a path was myself and I also realized it was not my responsibility to warn the OW about xAP.

Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 4:49pm

Clarebear,


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Ah shucks, GF, you're making me blush. :-/


<>


Clare, since I am now home and unwinding from work, I hope you won't mind if I share the history behind the "HIG, " in hopes it will give some gals a much needed chuckle.


Clare and I have know one another for several years now and write to one another off the board as well. Back a couple of years ago, I wrote this long, epiphanatic post about my sudden Ah-Hah moments that were

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 6:03pm

Iddy -


CONGRATS on the CL position - you helped me tremendously in my first days NC, so I am a big fan of yours and am happy to see you be our official leader!


I am M for 6 years, 2 children.

NC since October 2, 2009.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 6:04pm
Time for me to chime in too :) This Board has saved me from certain A-catastrophe. Got involved with my boss and our A lasted for approximately 18 months. Prior to that we were working together for 20 years in a strictly professional setting. Still working with him to date and have been out of A now for nearly ten months. The A has been over for me, but he continues to make advances to this date, but I am getting stronger and stronger in rejecting his advances and I owe it all to EAS :) I have a H who loves me unconditionally and treats me like a queen and two adult sons - WTF was I thinking when I got involved in the A !! I can't imagine the shame and embarrassment that it would bring to my family including that of my parents and siblings should the A ever be discovered. My great concern now is if my boss does not cease his advances, then I might have to quit my job which breaks my heart to think about it because (a) I love my job (b) I am very attached to the friendships I have developed in the course of my 20+ years with the company and (c) I am aiming to retire in five years. I would like to thank all the ladies who have so generously shared their stories here and to let each and everyone of you know that you have helped me and countless others I'm sure in our excruciating struggle in ending an A. Peace and Joy to All (((HUGS))) Gullable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:01pm

I'm 38 and have been married for 12 years, but separated from my H about two months ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2008
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 10:33pm
Hey-I just started posting on this board not too long ago-been a long time poster on the EA board because mine has been an intense emotional affair. I am 42 years old and have been struggling with my feelings for OM for the past two years. Been married for 23 years, 3 children. OM and I got to know eachother at work and I still work with him which makes NC hard. I have also tried NC and failed miserably but I am still determined to be successful and end my EA. A little history: OM and I began e-mailing and texting about two years ago-some of the texting turned into flirting and sexual innuendo which we both liked. We eventually graduated to hugging and some touching but other than that, nothing physical. OM is also my very good friend which makes ending a relationship very difficult. But if I don't we are sure to go physical and then I would need to switch boards again. I would much rather stay here and be one of those posters who have been NC for years and can give some good advice to the newbies. On that note, I am here..determined to be successful and get my life back. Glad to have you as our lead.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2009
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 11:33pm
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Edited 1/3/2010 3:11 pm ET by classy01
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2005
Wed, 12-09-2009 - 12:00am

I did not know what a tweenie is. i dont even know what most the acronyms are. thx for letting me know and putting me in my place. Am I a newbie?

and you are right about me worrying about whether he would fish or not....i should not be concerned. thanks....i needed a reminder.

i had a good day. lets hope they keep coming.

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