Roll call and Introductions.
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Roll call and Introductions.
| Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:27am |
To All: (Newbies, tweeners, vets, and lurkers)
I remember that Messenger used to do this every so often
| Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:27am |
To All: (Newbies, tweeners, vets, and lurkers)
I remember that Messenger used to do this every so often
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First, Iddy, thank you for stepping up to be the leader; we're lucky to have you.
I'm 42, in my second M (6 years m'd but 11 together). I have three kids 12, 5 and 3. Met MM 20 months ago. Met him briefly at a party then started an intense online friendship, edging on EA, for 6 months before I ever saw him again. Went PA, after that. During the A, we both justified that we were 'stuck' in our Ms due to kids, finances and so forth. Neither of us were sure we could dissolve our RL Rs, irrespective of the A. It was my first (and last) A, he had cheated on his wife a few times over their 20 year R. During our A, we had a few difficult Fake-relationship issues to overcome, but, in general, I think we provided mutual and desperately needed (albeit misplaced) support and love. Our A ended 5 weeks ago when we both agreed that he needed to have a clear head to focus on his plan to end his marriage (probably after the holidays). If it were not for that, I probably would not have ended the A. Now that I'm out of the A, and the 'fog' is lifting, my thinking is clearer and I see my xAP, myself and the entire A in a new light - and it's very painful to come to grips with how I behaved. I hardly recognize myself nowadays.
My M and my H continue to disappoint me but I'm determined to deal with those issues with a clear head - my family deserves that. I still struggle intensely with missing the friendship and affection of the xAP, but I'm hopeful that time and self-work with ease the pain in time. I will take this A to my grave so I don't have the support of friends or family to help me. I can't afford therapy right now, either, and boy! do I need it. I hate to think of how bad off I'd be if I didn't have this board to turn to for help.
Paxil and EAS - Godsends!! ha.
(right now The Song is Over by the Who is on the radio. I have to go bawl on my boss' sofa for a bit. Thank God he's out of town. ;)
Hey idders :)
I love these roll calls because 1.
Hi Iddy,
I’m M 23 yrs. and have been out of my A for 2 ½ years. Two children adult D and teenaged S. I had a D-day after my A ended. I have restored myself through IC and my M has been rebuilt through the hard work from both my H and me in MC.
After ending A and 6 months NC, I broke NC by responding to one of many fishing attempts. I subsequently took a path of revenge against xAP after finding out that he was going after another M woman. I realized the person I was hurting the most by taking such a path was myself and I also realized it was not my responsibility to warn the OW about xAP.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Clarebear,
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Ah shucks, GF, you're making me blush. :-/
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Clare, since I am now home and unwinding from work, I hope you won't mind if I share the history behind the "HIG, " in hopes it will give some gals a much needed chuckle.
Clare and I have know one another for several years now and write to one another off the board as well. Back a couple of years ago, I wrote this long, epiphanatic post about my sudden Ah-Hah moments that were
~Iddy~
Iddy -
CONGRATS on the CL position - you helped me tremendously in my first days NC, so I am a big fan of yours and am happy to see you be our official leader!
I am M for 6 years, 2 children.
I'm 38 and have been married for 12 years, but separated from my H about two months ago.
Edited 1/3/2010 3:11 pm ET by classy01
I did not know what a tweenie is. i dont even know what most the acronyms are. thx for letting me know and putting me in my place. Am I a newbie?
and you are right about me worrying about whether he would fish or not....i should not be concerned. thanks....i needed a reminder.
i had a good day. lets hope they keep coming.
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