Roll call and Introductions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Roll call and Introductions.
82
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:27am

To All: (Newbies, tweeners, vets, and lurkers)


I remember that Messenger used to do this every so often

   ~Iddy~ 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 4:02pm

Hi all, I'm Roxy I was very lucky to find this board almost a year ago now. The wisdom and guidance helped me so much to begin to end my A madness.

Briefly, I'm married 20+ years to my childhood sweetheart, sadly no children, I'm also (I now realise) very inexperienced in affairs of the heart! DH suffered depression off and on for a number of years I felt alone in our M, thought I'd be the last person ever to have an A though however xAP persued and persued I eventually caved, I thought I could handle it, HOW WRONG COULD I HAVE BEEN ...

A lasted 3+ years we are in LC as we work together. A ended at the start of this year, I fell off the wagon in May then he dumped me after a few weeks guess he couldn't handle the guilt? Anyway, the pain I went through this time I believe, affected my physical health (will I ever learn?)

Gradually, and again with support and understanding from this board, I pieced myself together. After a three month break xAP started fishing again this has gone on since about September. I have more strength than before but know I'm still vulnerable. I am dreading next week as we have a team Christmas party - the last thing I want to do is fall back into the A but with a party atmosphere ... well it will be a real test for me.

Thanks to all who have posted, shared stories and always offer so much help and guidance.

HTGO! if you're reading this many congrats to you, what lovely news
:) xx Roxy

((hugs)) Roxy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2009
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 4:47pm
Hi, I'm new to this and I saw your post under roll call/introductions and could not believe how close your story is to mine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2008
Mon, 12-14-2009 - 10:09pm

I am M.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2009
Tue, 12-15-2009 - 4:59am

Hey Roxy! :-) Yes of course I read your post. Don't worry about the Christmas party. Dress yourself real pretty and do it for YOU, not for him. Thanks for the congrats, I am very happy with it :-)

Hugs!
htgo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2007
Wed, 12-16-2009 - 10:11am

hey, i know i'm a little late, but can i play too?


i'm a very vet of vets. i used to, recently, be a cl.

LovelyStarr

"Enlightment is not a matter of imagining figu

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2009
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 4:00pm

It has just occured to me that I have not done this... the introductions, or posting my story. Instead I'm posting random thoughts and pleas for help all over the board, with no backstory! So here goes...


My AP and I are coworkers, and also friends outside work. We have a large, close-knit group of friends, and

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 5:30pm

I think you have yet to read about a successful friendship after an A b/c they just don't happen.


I really thought I was the one who would be able to do so and I was going to proudly post my story....


Well here I am all these years later, trying time and time again to be this man's friend and I finally realize it is never going to happen.


To live on the fringe of his life became too unbearable even though we have been out of our EA for over a year now. Just up until when we last spoke the day before Thanksgiving I was covering up the hurt I felt each and every time he would tell me about what he had been up too. I know he was cautious in what he told me b/c we both had talked about being sensitive to one another in regards to that. Well , if you have to do that, then that is not a real friendship.


So during that last conversation I realized that what we shared was not real and I wanted no part of it. I said ...enough I can't do this anymore, it hurts too much. He let me go.....EASILY. Two weeks later I asked to see if we could try to be friends again...Writing that now makes me sick...what the heck was I thinking?? Anyway, he said lets wait and see what the new year brings.....ouch. He no longer wants this friendship either b/c I am sure it hurts him as well. So I told him that I was having a weak moment when I wrote him that email and to forget about what I asked for....heard nothing from him.


So we are done. I am day 5 N/C and quite honestly feel pretty good. We have been over for a long time now , so there were only remnants left so the hurt isn't so bad this ending.


Save yourself ALOT of heartache and just walk away now. It

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 8:59pm

I joined EAS back in 2006.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2007
Mon, 12-21-2009 - 9:46pm

Hey, Everyone!


I'm a vet who hasn't visited the site in a while, but I like to check in every so often with the hopes of giving back to others in the way the site helped me (thanks, Iddy!)


I was married when my A started with a MM--the husband of one of my friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2007
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 5:53am

Hi there! I found this post and have decided to write. I am a newbie and a lurker??? I've been reading people's posts and have decided to tell my story. I met him 5+ years ago. We started out at friends. It took him 6 months to even kiss me. We dated for 2 years. I did not know he was M; then I found out. I was devastated but knew I had to end things. We went one year of NC and then the silence broke. Contact was infrequent. We were not physical...at the time. We have since become physical over the past 6 months.

I am S; have never been married and have no children. Given the way things have evolved and the frequency of our meetings, I thought that MAYBE he was available...maybe he was D....separated. I have since discovered that is not the case. I don't know the complete details of his situation, but nonetheless, he is M. I am once again devastated and can't go on like this.

There is a very special place in my heart for him and I believe there always will be. But I can't go on like this. It's not fair to me. It's not fair to his family. I struggle with the love in my heart, but I will persevere...at least I am trying.

I do believe that he cares about me, but know that sometimes "love is just not enough". I am thankful for this board but feel that I am completely off my rocker given the frequency of my post over the past 24 hours. Shouldn't this be black and white? Shouldn't this be easy? Isn't it clear what has to happen and just move on?

Thank you for encouraging people to share their stories. It's quite therapeutic.

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