Roll call and Introductions.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Roll call and Introductions.
82
Tue, 12-08-2009 - 9:27am

To All: (Newbies, tweeners, vets, and lurkers)


I remember that Messenger used to do this every so often

   ~Iddy~ 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 2:23pm

MS,


Welcome to our community, honey, and thanks for introducing yourself. Keep reading and posting, and time spent in the Healing Library will pay off, I promise you. Remember that your A can be over at any given time when you decide that it is. I also lurked on another board when I first came to Ivillage for several weeks before the fog began to clear and I knew my affair had to end. It wasn't even a month after finding these forums that I pulled the plug for the 3rd and final time. From there I clawed my way out of that forbidden tunnel, one bloody nuckle at a time, until the light of day was finally reached.


We can help you, and just posting under our introductions thread tells me and others that you are ready to receive it.


(((Hugs))

~ Iddy~

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2010
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 4:00pm
Thank you so much for your response iddy

myShadow (cuz surely this isn't the real me)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2010
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 6:28pm

I am so thankful to find these boards and thankful that I am not alone in the way I am feeling right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sat, 01-23-2010 - 7:39am

Good morning, everyone.


I'm bumping this thread back up for the newbies

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2010
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 4:48am

Morning all. I live in the UK, I have been with my H for 18 years and have two wonderful young children. I joined the boards on Friday when my xMM ended our A, but I had been lurking for a while. I am "fortunate" that my A only lasted 8 months and as xAP lives hundreds of miles away there is no chance of me bumping in to him. I tried to end it right near the start but he talked me round but he has been trying to end it for probably the last 4 months but I keep persuading him to carry on so we could meet one last time.

On Friday morning he sent me a text to end it and I did the decent thing and accepted it and today is day 2 of NC but it doesn't feel much of an achievement as I managed a week last time I tried this before I caved in and texted to say how miserable I was not being able to talk to him, he said he felt the same and we started all over again...

Well no more. I tried to delete his last long text to me yesterday but I couldn't. Reading what he said reminded me why NC was the only right thing. So I am going to post it here so at least I can delete it from my phone. My goal is that one day I won't care what he said or need to refer to it to maintain NC and then I can come back and delete it.

When I tried NC before I hadn't found these boards but now I have they are really helping me to realise how painful and destructive an A can be and what I am feeling now is just the pain of withdrawal which, with time, will fade.

Movingon x x

This is his last long text (without the obvious expletive!) after which we just said goodbye - one day there will be no text here so anyone who reads it will know that I really have moved on !

Good morning - I have had a restless night thinking - I don't think it is a good idea to meet - what we want to do is perhaps not what we should do - I really have to face the truth that although I do want to f*** u I am uncomfortable - I know that seems strange given that we have already - can't explain it - I just feel so guilty - I am so sorry - but I do believe that this is right x

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2010
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 6:31pm
Thank-you to all, whose advice and wisdom gave me the strength needed. My first post after reading here for a very long time. Briefly: M 30+yrs to a great husband and father, mostly very happy yrs., but at a "bump in our road" I selfishly stepped outside and began a 9+yr off/on roller coaster. As expected all I got was sex and heartache to show for those yrs. As 2009 came to a close I opened my eyes and decided NO MORE, blocked his # and went NC. So 5weeks and holding strong, with some weak moments, but resolve on my side, I say thank-you to the vets and to others learn from me: from this minute do not take another moment from your family/yourself. That is your real life - do not miss it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2009
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 7:25pm

((seemeclearly))


Thanks you for posting in and introducing yourself, and welcome to EAS. I was happy to read that you have been reading here for a long time and even happier that you ended

   ~Iddy~ 


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Sun, 01-24-2010 - 11:05pm

Okay, I'll introduce myself here, for the record.

I'm a MM that is ending a 4 1/2 year A with a MW. As of writing this I am NC for 6 days. I know it's time for the A to end and I am committed to keeping it this way. That said though, these days of NC have been really hard.

In February, my DW and I will acknowledge (not quite celebrate yet) our 17th anniversary. I moved out of our home 2 years ago and am still living apart. We have a 14 year old son, who is awesome, but I know that he has been struggling with the separation; that's another relationship I have to work to strengthen.

I found EAS when reading content online about affairs; which I have been reading since my A began. I have never been comfortable with the A, but I rationalized my way through it. Even still, I hate that I compromised myself, my values and my decency for the A.

I have been in IC since the A started. Through that I have been understanding what brought me into it, what it was providing me and why it was time for it to end. I have struggled with this for so long. I tried to end the A 2 1/2 years ago, but was soon back into to. As much as I might have known it was wrong, the good feelings outweighed the bad; funny how that happens in an A. My T tells me that even when we know things are wrong, we can't take action until we are ready. I know now that I am ready.

I've really enjoyed these first few days on EAS. The diversity of opinions and expression of feelings here is amazing. I know that we are all struggling with this rollercoaster of emotions and as I read through these post, I can't help but feeling that you each have something to be proud of. We might feel like cowards on occasion, but there's a lot of bravery here.

I know that this is primarily a women's forum, so I have some extra thanks for each of you that has made me feel welcome.

MPV

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2009
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 12:12am

Hi Iddy and all -


I am a long time lurker and a very infrequent poster.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 01-25-2010 - 4:26am
Hi everyone, I'm new to all of this so go easy on me. I'm married 23 years and just ending an A with Mr. Perfect. We have been trying to end it for a while now, and we were doing pretty well until last week he sent me 3 texts in the middle of the night saying "let's be together, we r perfect for each other," etc. I responded (mistake, I know!) so basically we had to start over again. So now it's NC, day TWO! We WILL be working together on a project soon, which I'm not concerned about, but I'm sad and confused and heartbroken. Do any of you ever fantasize about it working out? Getting married? I know it's not realistic, I have 4 kids, but the minute he said yes, that's what I want, I was already picking out shoes to go with the dress...
Thanks for the support.

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