Roll Call and Introductions
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| Fri, 04-09-2010 - 7:34am |
Good morning ladies and gents (if any are around),
I thought it was time to re-introduce ourselves to the board so others know who's who around here. Please tell us a little bit about yourself, how long you've been out of your A, and perhaps one important lesson you have learned so far. I'll go first.
Hi, my name is Iddy. I used to be Id-Diosyncrity for those who would like to read my very first posts. I've been on EAS for almost 6 years now, ending my A just before I started posting. I work with Xmm 'still' and we are both way past our indiscretion that started in 1999 and ended for good in 2004. He is still my boss but we pretty much run the business together. We had to lay off many people over the years with just the two of us left in the office. Unfortunately for me, the lay offs began in 2004 and I went through a very difficult healing period of about 2 years due to just the two of us working all day long together. Time has been on my side though, and now Xmm is busy with another business that takes him out of the office most of the day. Amen!
The most important lesson I learned through all of this is that messing around with an unavailable man was the darkest road I ever traveled. I have been through 2 divorces and never experienced this kind of emotional torment. I had a late in life affair, starting right after my youngest child left for college. This gave me loads of free time to muck

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Hello All,
I am a 35 year old mother of 3 (12, 9, 4). I am also a full-time PhD student and therapist (I know). I had a 2 year A with a colleague that I still remain in a working relationship with on an almost daily bases. My H was informed day 1 about my feelings for xAP after I kissed him - fast forward two years - my xAP planned a Dday with his W as he was looking for an apartment so that we could be together. I had ended all contact with him 5 weeks prior to this. Needless to say, wanting to leave and leaving are separate things - and within 2 weeks of this decision, he had changed him mind. I ended all contact again - but did respond recently to a very serious incident in his life - as he knew I would.
However, during the enforced NC - he continued to fish, including a message left on my phone (drunk) on Easter saying he loves me so much. He was so drunk he doesn't remember making the call. They have also in this time, sold their house and bought another house. He continues to push for a 'relationship' with me - gather the pieces we DO have and make something - anything out of it, and he has told his W this. 'Put up or shut up' seems to be the extent of it all ...
I have lost a lot. My partner of 13 years moved out 6 months ago after trying to manage the affair (poly life), although i think he would/will begin working at 'us' again whenever i was/am truly ready. i was afraid to ask him until i had some space and time between relationships. He's an amazing man and i want(ed) to be sure and ready to not hurt him with a relapse. I have been watching and reading this board for months.
I KNOW all the things to do - I do not feel victimized. I have found LC to be intolerable. I know he is not my soul-mate - I have no blinders on. I am enrolled to enter into a one week residential treatment program for Co-dependents in Aug. (father, H & xAP are all alcoholics).
Day 2 NC.
Edited 4/14/2010 11:37 am ET by jodi_09
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