Rough night ahead

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
Rough night ahead
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 8:17pm

Looks like Chinese takeout and Netflix alone for me tonight. My H's plane got delayed and my DS is at a sleepover. This is definitely one of those nights I would lean on xAP. I know there was a point in my life where I would relish the idea of a night alone. Now I just feel sad and lonely. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2010
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 8:41pm
Hey TennisGirl,

I'm no expert in such things, but I often try to remember that feeling sad and lonely is not the same as being sad and lonely. Instead of feeling lime you'd lean on XAP, allow yourself to feel a sense of strength that you are letting go of something unhealthy. Feel good about making a change in your life.

I know it's hard. Remember, also, to lean on EAS. It's great that you came here to share what you are feeling rather than turning to XAP.

Let us know what movie you watched.

Community Leader
Registered: 06-08-2010
Fri, 04-20-2012 - 9:27pm
Watch that movie and know that we are all pulling for you, Tennis. You CAN do this. You CAN hold onto your resolve. Think of it as the burner on the stove that is still hot, but cooling down. If you risk the chance to touch it now, you will still get burned. Even if it looks cool enough. Stay away from that harm to yourself, sweetie. Lonely nights call for a movie and EAS buddies. Lean on us, please!! :)

Hearts <3
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 1:25am

Surprisingly enough I actually had a pretty decent night. Not the best night ever, but not the torturous night I had worked it up to be either. I couldn't find a movie on netflix so I rented The Descendants, drank some wine, and read some magazines. I actually kind of enjoyed the -me- time. The movie was really good, of course I'd watch anything with George Clooney in it. :P My H seems to think I have a thing for older men (my xAP was 15 years older than me), I don't think that is necessarily the case, but I digress.

The only time I really thought about xAP was when my phone would go off. Every time I got a text message my heart would stop.

Now I am going to hit the hay and when I wake up my H and DS will be home. We can have some quality family time and enjoy our weekend. Hopefully I won't allow xAP to rent too much space in my head this weekend.

MPV - You are completely right. Just because I am feeling sad and lonely right now doesn't mean that I AM sad and lonely. These feelings are fleeting. Thank you for your support and encouragement. :)

Hearts - Your stove analogy was perfect! I'm stepping away from the stove (which is probably a good thing because I am a terrible cook) ;)

Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 8:33am

Have you thought about changing the ring-tone for texts?

If you use the same one for all of them, changing helps.

I am the geeky type when it comes to phones, and have set up individual ring-tones for each and every person, and the same with texts from them.

I know that certain ring-tones send off an alarm in your brain.

We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for happyasme
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 11:19am
I agree with RBM. I had to made changes to my phone and the worse was the text beep. It is now set to silence. I still have an issues with the little red star on my blackberry. It can't be xAP he's blocked, but I still get an icky jolt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2012
Sat, 04-21-2012 - 9:30pm
Changing the tone is a good idea. It is such a trigger for me. Mainly because I was always waiting for him to respond to a text. He is completely 100% blocked and logically I know it can't be him. It is just the the first thing that crosses my mind. Thanks for the suggestion RBM! I am going to get on that as soon as I'm done here. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Sun, 04-22-2012 - 9:47pm
so happy you had a better night than expected. things are usually not as bad as you think they are. I have found myself all stressed out unnecessarily. I watched Georga Clooney and I was so into that movie. All the pain that A's caused. Its so devastating. I get chills when I think about my horribly selfish behavior.

Be proud of yourself, you got thru. I have learned to love time alone. Time will heal you, believe in yourself and celebrate those little accomplishments.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida