rough night, & there will be more...
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rough night, & there will be more...
| Thu, 05-20-2010 - 3:07pm |
last night sucked... it was (i feel) just a taste of what i have to look forward to...
i won't retype all my history (i haven't posted here in a while i know) but the short easy quick version is its been 10 weeks since the end of my 4 year affair with xmm. i am also m. we live only one small town away from each other and next year both xmm's dd and my and my h dd will be going to the same school. there have been 3 days on xmm's end. his wife knows ALL about me... but my h knows nothing of my affair... i have been nc for weeks. i have been having some okay days where i felt okay..

Life
I just started posting here myself....and while
Whoa- that is a lot of emotion and as I read, I felt every ounce of it with you. I am so sorry you had to experience that, but it sounds like you handled it very well in the situation. Bravo to you for that. You should hold your head up high, but I am all too familiar with the residual effects of seeing xap. So, now you deal. And that is ok. And each time you have to see xap and his W, it will get easier... I call it desensitization. I am not an advocate of it if you can avoid it, but since you will have to see him regularly or sporadically for the next 5 yrs, you should think about desensitization... the more you are exposed to a trigger, the less effect it will have on you. It will be hard for you to see them the first couple of times, but each time you get through it successfully, it will get easier and easier.
I am sure I am not making much sense. I hope I am making a little bit. I know this was hard, but I really want you to be proud of how you handled yourself. You didn't let him or her see you upset... yay! And now you inventory this experience, learn from it and move forward.
Hugs,
NC/LC since January 28, 2010
http://secretlifeofjane.wordpress.com/
"try to remember you're the only one who knows whats going in your head not them and from outward appearances you played it cool."
thank you... i sure hope so... i know eventually.. and possibly soon, i may have to play it cool again and hope my husband doesn't know what's going on inside my head!
~ life....
http://nomoreblues.wordpress.com/
Oh just leave me just get out of my head
'Cause I can't take this torture any more ~ imogen heap
happiness is a journey, not a destination ~ souza
~ life....
http://nomoreblues.wordpress.com/
Oh just leave me just get out of my head
'Cause I can't ta
yes, i do get what
~ life....
http://nomoreblues.wordpress.com/
Oh just leave me just get out of my head
'Cause I can't ta