The Rubber Band thing

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
The Rubber Band thing
12
Thu, 03-18-2004 - 9:18am
I read about this on another message board here... I've been wearing a rubber band on my wrist, and anytime I start obsessing about my XOM, wanting to contact him, whatever -- I snap it hard against my wrist to deter me. Ouch. I think it's working! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2004
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 6:19pm
I really, really feel for those of you who live near your X, and especially those who work with them. I don't know HOW you do it!! NC must be virtually impossible! I'm so glad my XOM lives 3 hours away right now. On the one hand, it makes me sad to think that I truly may NEVER see him again, but on the other -- I think it will eventually be easier to get over him this way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 03-19-2004 - 7:07pm
At first it was difficult to see xmm all the time. His house is on the main street into our subdivision so I have to drive past it all the time and as you can see by my post we work together. I am completely over the affair so that part of it is no big deal for me.

He has so much guilt over the whole thing that he can barely look at me. I told him if he would deal with his feeling instead of trying to ignore them he could get past all of this mess. But I guess that is his problem, not mine. I do still get a little angry with him, but that's getting better, too.

It was a mutual ending so I know he isn't missing the A either. We had a wonderful friendship that we ruined by getting involved. The only savior to this is we didn't have a sexual affair and I really think that is why I was able to completely get over it. Although it seemed to take forever and I didn't think I would ever get to the point that I am at now.

I look at the A as a mistake to learn from. I am the happiest that I have ever been in my marriage. Although I didn't see it for a long time, my A made me realize that my H is truly my soul-mate and I would never want to lose him. I can't imagine my life without him in it. I love my life and everything about it just the way it is now.

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