sad and mad
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sad and mad
| Thu, 02-05-2004 - 7:34pm |
Hello everyone!I haven't posted in awhile.Just trying to work on my m and doing quite well I guess.I posted about ending my a and have stayed on my word.I'm happy the a ended but my problem is I still work with xom and it seems like all we do is argue over everything.I can't stand it.He gets on my nerves so bad.I wonder what in the hell I ever saw in him but I know that's just because I'm mad at that time.I really miss him as a friend but I wonder if it's possible to remain friends?We both blame each other.I just feel like he's changed since he got m.It's like he's not happy.I won't say anything because it's not my business,and he would never admit it anyway.I've tried to get moved off the line but it did not work.How do you remain friends with an xlover?I even caught myself thinking it might be better if the a never ended because we always got along then and it was much easier getting up and going to work.Well I hope this makes since but I'm just feeled with different emotions and could use alittle advice.

If you were intensely involved, to me, when it's over, it's over. Trying to "remain friends" with a former lover, a real lover for whom you felt intensely and vice-versa is hanging to something that's past. It will be hurtful and unhealthy for one or both of you.
UNLESS, you're both totally honest and have truly let go of the love you had for each other and can truly and honestly say that all that is left is simple friendship.
You think your husband will ever believe that? Very doubtful and very cruel to your H.
BUT you can forgive and move on from the hurt and anger and have a respectful and polite relationship as needed -- kind of like I do with my ExH. Sometimes I can't stand him, sometimes I feel affection for him, mostly I just wish I never had to see him again. But he's my kids' dad, so I'm respectful, compassionate and polite (not quite friendly but certainly not cool). Not for me, not for him, only for the kids.
Try to make things pleasant for your co-workers at least?
good luck!