Sad and rainy day
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Sad and rainy day
| Thu, 10-28-2004 - 11:16am |
Another one of those days. Had a small arguement w/ H last night. Nothing major, but of course, it made me start to think about XOM. Luckily I had the self restraint NOT to call him. But I woke up this morning still irritated...and still thinking about XOM. On top of that, it is a cold, rainy day out which just makes it worse. I love the rain - something very romantic about it...ugh. And to make it all just a little bit worse - XOM's last day at work is tomorrow. He will no longer be working a few miles away from me (which realistically, I know is good, because it's what made our A so easy). It's been in the back of my mind since I found out he was changing jobs - wondering if he would call or email and want to meet for lunch or coffee one last time. YES, I know I SHOULDN'T want too....but I do. He probably won't call - and I just have to stay strong and not call him for the next two days until that feeling passes...
Just feeling really sad today and needed to vent...

I was feeling like stressed yesterday and all week. So I emailed him. Big mistake. I know its hard to control those urges. But after 5 weeks of NC it is amazing how quickly we can slip into the same old ways. I didnt let the feeling pass. I just reacted to it. Which I normally do but had been really good at controlling. Dont do it honey. Take it from me who really screwed up!
Go run around in the rain. Take a walk.
Not much good today with advice. But wanted to send you a (((((((HUG))))))))
xo!
Dipss