A sad ending.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
A sad ending.
64
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:37am

I've read some posts here and there, and I never thought I would come to the place that I am at.

MoonUnit

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:53am

"I wish I knew what is in his head."


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 10:06am
When I said move back home, I mean back to my husband. He has no idea about this baby. Before I moved back home, I did come clean about the affair, just not the baby. I don 't want to terminate this baby, it's breaking my heart. I just don't have another choice. I want to work this out with my husband and heal, and part of it was telling him of the affair. I'm still so torn about my X-AP, I do miss him, but it's a very bad situation, and i'm staying strong to my convictions. My husband told me of his 4 affairs in our marriage to, and one was a love affair.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 10:21am

Sorry, I misunderstood "home"!!


This is just my opinion, but why not come clean to your husband about the baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 10:56am
Thank you for your support. I just got finished with a nice long run, it always brings me solace. My husband wants to know who my X-AP is. It's bad enough he found a card that I wrote to my X-AP that I never gave to him and had his first name on there. He's very angry right now, very hurt. I don't think I can come clean with a baby. Plus when i started to show, I know the nieghb ors would have a field day with their gossip. I just dk anymore. This is my punishment.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 11:02am

If you aren't exactly sure what YOU want to do about the baby and YOU decide to terminate the pregnancy YOU might regret that decision every day for the rest of your life. Please think very, very hard and try to picture the rest of your life; not just today, with this decision.

I'm not going to tell you what to do because I am not in your situation and I definitely cannot judge you, but please, please think past today. It is YOUR decision alone. Think about how you might feel about the baby 5,10,15,20 + years from now. Terminating a pregnancy is something you cannot ever change and your decision will likely affect you deeply the rest of your life.

I really feel for you this is a very difficult situation to be in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 11:18am
I know this. I'm terrified of how my husband would react with this kind of news. I'm not sure of what he would do. Right now i'm trying to protect my X-AP well being, we both made this baby. My X-AP was the coward, my husband wants to tell his wife. I'm trying to protect him. I think if I told him of this baby, he would go off the deep end, i'm not sure what he would do. It scares me. After 4 days, we now can finally talk and the anger is being redirected. I told him of the affair, because he told me of his 4. They don't bother me at all, and I never knew of them. He said he thought I knew.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 11:22am
I want my life back before I made this terrible mistake. People have gotten hurt. There will be scars from this for ever.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 11:35am

"I want my life back before I made this terrible mistake. People have gotten hurt. There will be scars from this for ever."


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 12:05pm

I completely agree with onemoretime. Your husband had at least 4 affairs?! How do you know that the same thing hasn't happened to him? He is in no place to be upset with you. Please do as onemoretime suggested and think of yourself and your baby right now. Do you have any other children? Please find someone you can talk to also as onemoretime mentioned to help you sort through everything. Can you make an appointment for a therapist first before the termination appointment?

I'm not sure the best thing to say to you I just want to make sure that whatever you decide is your decision. I know it is very hard to worry about what people think, because I do that too, but please try to think past what others think and decide for yourself what you should do. You are really the only one who will truly have to live with your decision.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 12:58pm
I think it's your decision but you don't want to spend your whole pregnancy stressed out if you decide to have this baby. I had a baby during my A and the whole time the MM complained about me having her. He made my pregnancy very hard and I was sick the whole time. He use to throw it in my face a lot but I think he has now accepted it. His W found out and didn't leave right away although he's out now, I'm not sure if it's because of my daughter. But what ever decision you make you need to accept it and don't let someone else control how you feel about it.

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