A sad ending.
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A sad ending.
| Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:37am |
I've read some posts here and there, and I never thought I would come to the place that I am at.
| Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:37am |
I've read some posts here and there, and I never thought I would come to the place that I am at.
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Hi Moonunit,
I bet when you told xAP about the news he was looking around for Ashton Kutcher. Then the fear set in and the reality of real life crept in and intruded on his fantasy.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
What is so sad is that I really do miss my X-AP greatly. I wish at times I didn't end our relationship so abruptly, even though I know it was for the best, and is for the best. This is so unlike him, I have not seen him on line fo days, not once.
MoonUnit
I know you miss him moon, most of us miss them in the beginning. It’s ok to feel it. Just don’t act on those feelings.
My T told me when my H was asking questions (I was in IC we hadn’t started MC till a few weeks after D-Day)…she told me that I didn’t have to answer any questions that I did not want to answer. She told me to say, “Give me some time to think about what you are asking.” Remind H that you are hurting too.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Wow, what a truly sad ending indeed. I am very sorry for what you are going through. Altogether, it sounds like both your AP and DH are not considering your feelings or well-being AT ALL. Rough sex that causes you pain is not kind and loving, neither are all the A's. Please evaluate your relationship with your husband - sounds like a sketchy situation at best. Why do you want to go back to that and give up so much? You are the one making all the sacrifices here for both men. You are worried about your AP, and your DH finding out about your pregnancy. PLEASE talk to someone you can trust (preferably a therapist) before you make a decision about your child that you cannot take back. I haven't been through an abortion myself, but have heard enough from women who have. Women whose lives are destroyed by guilt and remorse. If you are not at peace with your decision to have an abortion, if you are reluctant at all, don't do it. I don't mean to be harsh about this but BOTH yours and your AP's reason for ending this pregnancy is about avoiding the responsibility for what you've done. You both want to escape the result of your actions. Please think about that. You've got some big decisions on your hands and we are all pulling for you. I just hope you don't find yourself in even more misery at the end of all this. Take care of yourself and put your needs first. All circumstances aside, what do you want to do?
MoonUnit
MoonUnit
I'm thankful if I can help in anyway.
I'm very relieved to read that you are seeing a T tomorrow.
I know you feel so bad for what has happened but this arrangement you agreed to with your H regarding the sex, please talk about it with your T tomorrow. I know you have a lot to discuss with her on the first meeting.
I'm worried that you think you deserve to be abused as punishment for the A. That you need to offer your body up as some sort of sacrifice.
Moon you don't.
I know you are between a rock and a hard place right now. I know you don't feel like you can make any decisions right now...but please get T's input on the hyper sex situation.
Sex can be about many things. It sounds like this is about control from your H's stand point. That is not healthy. I don't want to say too much about it because you have so much to deal with and I don't want to have you worrying right now. I can't say enough times...please talk to your T about it tomorrow.
Do what you have to in order to make it through the day. No dying inside...no victim attitude. Straightened your back, put your shoulders back, lift your head up. You are an overcomer and you will find your way through this situation. You T is your new start. Tomorrow is the
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
I have thought about you all day. Were you able to get into the therapist? I commend you for trying to make an appointment with a therapist right away. Whatever you decide please know you are supported. Please take a little time to truly decide what you want to do.
Take care
Oh Moonunit I am so sorry your going through this.
I have not even seen my X-AP on line since Saturaday. I can understand his fear, i'm just hurt that he was not more supportive.
MoonUnit
Dear Moon,
Your story is very very moving. But i can see a way out of the misery for you..move out and have the baby..that's what i would do. In all of this mess, that seems to be the only way out. You would be protecting the only 2 people who deserve it right now - yourself and your baby.
Abortions are draining and bitter experience. It is only in very bleak and dark of circumstances that they are the only right decision. In my opinion, my dear, you can be happy if you get away from both men and have a little baby to look after and love. A start to a whole new life for both of you.
Whatever you decide to do, i will not judge or think it is the wrong decision because i'm not walking in your shoes. But this advice is from the bottom of my heart and is given with great honesty, impartiality, and logic.
Wishing you the best,
Sunshine
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