A sad ending.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
A sad ending.
64
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:37am

I've read some posts here and there, and I never thought I would come to the place that I am at.

MoonUnit

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: moonunit02
Thu, 10-22-2009 - 7:14pm

I'm sure all are breathing a sigh of relief that you are going to see your T.


Please talk to T about your H and what has been happening with the anger and the sex situation. I would think those are very important issues to bring up and of course the pregnancy. Im sure you will have a lot to discuss and the time will go by very quickly. It wouldn't hurt to make a list in order of importance to get in what you want to discuss.


Much love and big hugs,


E1


Edited to add: Bandk I've been reading your posts and they are great...two thumbs up!


Whether you think you can or you think you cant you are probably right.


A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.



Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 9:12am

Moonunit, the more you explain your H and his actions towards you, the more i feel he is a disgusting slime that you need to leave him fast.

What on earth do you want to save in this marriage??? He cheated on you 4 times vs your 1 A and he is BETTER than you? You are allowing hom to treat you like a sexual punching bag. I cant think of how awful you must feel with the pregnancy hormones swirling about and having his contempt for you in your face daily.

IMO, the baby and you need to get away from both the selfish men you have and maybe you will be able to bring up your DC in a loving happy home. Abortion for the sake of saving a M with a man like your H would be the greatest mistake to me. All things happen for a reason. Maybe this is time for you to decide to put yourself and hopefully baby first rather than an awful bag of skin you call a H.

Im sorry if i sound harsh, but you are in a delicate frame of mind and i dont believe that getting rid of the baby will help you at all. It will just multiply the pain from all of this and add another thing to your bag of miseries.

I hope things work out the way you want them.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 9:44am
6 months

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 10:14am

Moon,


Did you see T?


I'm all for trying to save M's but if he is physically threatening you then you need to get out. He is also sexually abusing you. He is a controller and who is spinning our of control. Is there somewhere you can go? A friend or family member that you can stay with?


You can call the Domestic Abuse Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE. There is also a domestic abuse board on ivillage.


You need to get to a safe place and protect yourself. That is first.


Don't allow anyone to pressure you into a decision about the baby. You can make a clear decision on what to do after you get out.


Take care of yourself,


E1


Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 10:17am

Thats exactly what i mean. he DID step out on the M. He is putting his needs above yours. He is very very angry and will not go the T with you. He is not stable.

How can you live in a home where you are threatened and told to your face you are nothing but a &%$#bag?
Please think long and hard about terminating the pregnancy. You wont have to tell him if you leave- which for your own safety and well being should be soon. You have not avoided the responsibility for the A. He is the one denying any culpability for his actions. He is dangerous and unbalanced. Do yourself a favour and get out before you are taken out by an ambulance.

Please really think before you do something you cannot reverse. I am pro-choice and believe you have the right, but in your case i believe you are doing it for the wrong reason. It will not help you heal your M. Your H needs serious help and judging by Hs words, i dont believe that you will be safe with him- with or without child.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 10:38am
you know what makes this even harder. last night reading

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 11:05am

Well that just proved the point doesnt it? You are getting sad over knowing this pregnancy is a living baby. You are not acting as if this termination is "Pro-choice". You are using this termination as "save marriage" I think your M is not worth the pain that ending this new life would bring you. You sound like a caring and loving person. Dont underestimate what you could be as a mother.

I have 4 DCs and as much as they drive me crazy, i wouldnt be without any of them. My last (DD3) was born during a really rough time and I left my H when she was 1. She is the light of my life right now. She has never known the terror of my H so she is a bright happy child that the others love too. I really think she is the glue that keeps us together. I beg you to reconsider giving up this baby when what you have instead seems to be a drab existance with a man that treats you as less than dirt.

Take care.

SB

Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 12:34pm

Moonunit - you need to get

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 1:01pm

MoonUnit,


Let's play some of this out ----


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Fri, 10-23-2009 - 1:08pm
believe it or not at one point he was a very different man. he's always had anger issues, but never directed towards me. he's been arrested for anger issues, towards other people that have purposely mesed with him. he was a good husband, then i started my affair and changed over time towards him.

MoonUnit

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