A sad ending.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
A sad ending.
64
Wed, 10-21-2009 - 9:37am

I've read some posts here and there, and I never thought I would come to the place that I am at.

MoonUnit

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 9:38am
i know my husband will go ballistic, and i never want my x-ap to resent me or the baby for keeping the baby.

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 10:13am

Moonunit,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 1:36pm
i don't ever want him to resent me, or ever resent his son or daughter, or interfere with his family life.

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 2:10pm

I do not think he will resent you at all.


It is one thing to talk of "a baby" and a totally different thing to see or hold "your baby". He'd have to be a monster to resent you for that, and you know that he isn't.


Do what YOU want and what your obligation as a mom would be.


Hang in there,


Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 2:13pm
he's a really good man, and we both made poor choices.

MoonUnit

MoonUnit

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 2:27pm

We've all made poor choices, and that's why we are here.


Having said that, it doesn't mean we need to beat ourselves up. Just to learn and move on. Now it isn't only about you and xAP, it's about a new life. And besides, time will tell how good of a man he is. If he is the good man he think he is, then he should understand that it's not about HIM or you anymore but about a kid.


It will all work out, just try to breath and be strong!

Sunshine


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Sunshine

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 4:50pm

Hi moon,

big hugs to you. I know how you feel, I got pg by accident at age 19 with a guy that I had been dating for 3 months. He wanted me to get rid of it. At first I was going along with his wishes but I changed my mind and I kept it, and my son is now 18. After I had him, his father started to abuse me, so I moved out and raised him pretty much on my own.

So, here are my BTDT 2 cents for what they're worth.

- Your husband is an evil douchebag. Moonunit, please get rid of him he is toxic. He does not treat you with the respect you DESERVE. Move out and take your life back. This toad will never make you happy. Don't forget you're feeling especially vulnerable right now because you are pg. Don't let him take advantage of that.

- I totally respect you for not intruding on your xAP's life. I would do the same.

- As for your baby, it is YOUR decision sweetie. If you want the baby, keep it. However, you must be prepared to raise it on your own as a single mom. It's a lot of work but at the same time it's very gratifying. Hopefully your xAP will want to be involved at some point but you can't factor that into your decision.

hugs, peace and best wishes

trixie xo



"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.”
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2008
In reply to: moonunit02
Mon, 10-26-2009 - 5:56pm

Your husband is an emotional and sexual abuser and you need to get out. It will next escalate to physical abuse and that could be deadly to both you and the baby. I lost two classmates to domestic violence.

There are resources you can help for yourself and your baby. Do you have a trusted family member, friend, or clergy that get you started? You can do this. You also have support here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 12:52pm

moonunit, you haven't posted in a while, I hope you are safe.


You moved out of your home with your husband during the affair, I'm trying to understand your situation, but I am confused. If you moved then, why can you not move now? Did you keep your T appt.?


Check in with us MU.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2009
In reply to: moonunit02
Wed, 10-28-2009 - 1:28pm

Moonunit posted under MAS recently that she is meeting with her AP person. Under "not sure what to expect" ... So I am not sure which way she is going since she was posting under MAS about missing him (understandably) but after posting under EAS about ending the affair which she seems to know is the right thing to do, but as you read her circumstance involves a baby to which she told him she wasn't keeping it, but then was going to keep it, but not sure what she is telling him or what he said to her when he was going to meet her to explain the reasons they must end their affair. Considering her emotional state at this point, and going between boards I think everyone who has read the posts are concerned.


Good news is that she saw a therapist, but then was seeing ap right after. Perhaps she will post over here too, or there, no recent posts.

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