Sad Eyes
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 02-11-2010 - 1:05am |
I apologize for my absents on this board. It's been two months of NC for me and I'm striving to move forward. I sometimes peak in and read posts but I find it so difficult on my heart to read... =( It brings back memories that I want to forget.
Yesterday and today have been the most difficult days of NC for me. I know its over, I want it to be over...but my self esteem seems to be very very low. I'm very lonely, and I try to occupy myself with things but nothing keeps my mind off of my loneliness.
The hardest pill to swallow is knowing that I was used and meant nothing to him. All the girls on MAS and EAS were absolutely, 110% right about him. I was so blind to see it. Anyway... I don't know if any of you are religious or what not but today I was down and this song came on the radio... it seems to fit so well in my situation and a sentence stood out. I will use <> to show which sentence stood out. I feel like the song was sent from above to sort of help me.
Also, its another 'affair' song that I never heard before...here it goes:
Sad Eyes by Robert John
(Robert John Pedrick)
Looks like it's over, you knew I couldn't stay
She's comin' home today
We had a good thing, I'll miss your sweet love
Why must you look at me that way
It's over
Sad eyes, turn the other way
I don't wanna see you cry
Sad eyes, you knew there'd come a day
When we would have to say 'goodbye'
Try to remember the magic that we shared
In time your broken heart will mend
<>
I hate to see it have to end
But it's over
Sad eyes, turn the other way
I don't wanna see you cry
Sad eyes, you knew there'd come a day
When we would have to say 'goodbye'
Sad eyes, you knew there'd come a day
When we would have to say 'goodbye'
Sad eyes, turn the other way (turn the other way)
I don't wanna see you cry (cry, cry, cry)
Sad eyes, you knew there'd come a day (he-e-e-ey)
When we would have to say 'goodbye'
Sad eyes
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."


ILA,
It was nice to see you again. I'm sorry it's hard for you to read this board but 2 months of NC is HUGE, so be proud of your accomplishment with or without us.
Thanks for sharing the lyrics to this song. Ironically, I used to be a musician many years ago, but my A killed that passion and I can't even listen to it anymore. I can only do classical where there are no words. The words in this song really do say it all.
~Iddy~
Lost:
Your email brought tears to my eyes.
Hey LOST!!!!
So happy to see you post again, if its any consolation, you were missed, your a feisty thang and I missed your zest.
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
Hi Iddy,
"Affairs always end, but if we can be the ones to end it first, we avoid those terrible gut wrenching feelings of rejection. I know by doing this I saved myself tons of additional pain."
So true!! Surprisingly, I try to convince myself to not have any regrets (althou of course I regret hurting innocent people!) but I try to learn from my mistakes. This 'whole' experience has taught me a great lesson; a lesson in which I should have 'known' but was a bliss to it. For one, I learned to harden my heart - to love ME foremost, and never ever accept that sort of behavior again. To never fall so hard for someone before truly knowing him (how could I have loved a man I didn't know anything about outside of work??? stupid!). Secondly, to listen to people -coworkers, friends, etc.. when they say that man is no good, or that he's a liar, married, etc... don't think they're 'out' to get me, but consider what they say to be the truth. Anyways, I won't bore you all with everything that I have learned but trust me, I LEARNED SEVERAL (maybe hundreds) of lessons that most take a life time to learn. lol
Before the affair, most people would look at me a 'know' that I'm naive. But I'm glad to say that after this affair, people that have thought that said to me that I have changed, that I don't look so naive anymore. I'll take that as a compliment! =)
And I understand about music-it reminds me too. Some songs were 'our' songs, and now I don't even listen to the radio much when driving.
Hi kmg,
Awe thank you sweetie so much! But like you said to me, I have to say to you: don't feel rejected! I don't know your story too well, I apologize, but what you said I thought about for the past month: How could I have thought that I could walk into someone's life, and take them away from what they know? KWIM? I don't think we understand that these people have built a life together for many, many years and its hard for them to walk away from it all. In my particular case, my xAP and his wife were both con artists. They worked and operated in the same manner = they were a perfect fit together. The complimented each other. They done it so well for 15 years, that they just work well together. Now him and I, is more like oil n' vinegar...we don't mesh well. I can't believe I 'thought' I could compete with that... so don't feel rejected!! There is nothing you could do..its out of your hands. The universe has already aligned itself and this is the way its meant to be. You will find a man that appreciates what a good thing he has (you!) and will do anything to be with YOU! not a man whose too chicken to do what is right.
And it DOES get better... put each foot ahead of the other because although its painful to examine the affair and your part in it...its so much better then the anxiety of "when's he going to call?" or "what's he up to"?
hang in there!
luvinmeforever (I like your new screen name!) ;)
At first I didn't recognize you but until I read the bottom of your post. hehe
Haha zest is a nice way of putting it.. hehe i'm kidding! thank you i missed you girls to!
And I did not fall off the wagon.. i'm more firm then ever... I think I'm glued to it! lol
I am glad you did not break NC!!! We are almost at the same pace...we'll get our tweener medals together. So let's do it together..hang in there.
I will definitely take a listen to Sade's new album..thanks for the recommendations! ;)
p.s sorry for this long post!!
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
NC since Dec. 9th 2009
No Contact = No N
"I learned to harden my heart "
It's probably moreso to "protect your heart" rather than harden. To be careful who to let in to that part. :)