Sad for no reason?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sad for no reason?
5
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 5:48pm

Hey all,

Not even really sure what I want to say, or ask. It's just been one of those days (after a few really good days too!) where I'm just feeling really down...and I can't place why. I don't feel like I miss him, or at least it's not in an 'obvious way', I don't feel angry or anything (I have yet to hit the anger stage, I think). I'm not really sure what I feel... just...generally upset/been kind of weepy all day and I can't quite place why. I mean, I'm obviously upset for 'some reason', but there isn't a clear reason to me at the moment. Is this normal? Happened to other people? Just feeling down/sad but not really having a clear 'why' about it?
Thank you, as always
((hugs))

----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 8:02pm

yes its normal. yes, you will have days like this. yes, you may not be able to pinpoint it...maybe not the point to pinpoint it. Just feel it for a lil while (sounds like you have), n STOP!! Say it out loud. STOP.
Do something nice for you, I do not what works, but let me know if you need a list of suggestions.
Read some inspiring posts on here. Laugh. Smile. DO NOT DWELL on negativity. There has been a major swing in positive energy around here.....Get on the bandwagon....stay on it. How much more time of your precious life are you going to let pass you by?
I have BTDT...I know your pain. I also know that I was able to control my own feelings when I truly focused and did EXACTLY as I was instructed by this board. Hang in there....HUGS....

Luvin

Luvin
Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 9:13pm

Hi (((wcfem))),
Of course it is normal! I think it's probably because you are adjusting to this new reality without your xAP. It's not unlike losing a loved on...because you are in fact losing a loved one. You don't need specific triggers or actions to feel sad.

I have to say, I often felt that unexplainable, rootless sadness throughout my A. Even when things were at their "best" and most enjoyable. I would have days when I felt sad for no reason, just be in a funk.

LC/NC can cast a dark cloud over everything else in our lives. It's like getting your sea legs on a boat... everything is off-kilter, and sometimes you get a little sick, but eventually things even out and you grow accustomed to how wavy it is. And hopefully in the end you can just learn to enjoy the ride :)

xo Silver Doe

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 9:39pm

Thanks to you both!

You both raise some very good points. Especially the 'how long will I let life pass me by' and spend it wallowing in pain/sadness rather than moving on. That gave me a much needed boost. You're right...I need to get a hold of my emotions and give them their 'place' and time, not the whole day. I am unsure of how to do that though, how to 'stop feeling' something. Do you have suggestions (or, know of some posts on the board that talk about it?)
For the moment, I suppose what threw me off was that I couldn't 'target' why I was feeling sad (though, as you say - maybe not the point) and usually I could figure it out or I 'saw a reason for it'. You raise a good point though SD - even in the A there were days where I felt 'blah' and sick with anxiety, I suppose I chalked it up to missing him...but no,it's the nature of the A that does it.

Thanks again! The funk is lifting now (I'm sure it had to do with reading here), and I know I won't always feeling like this. But, ugh, I suppose we all wish we could just rush through this part ;)
((hugs))

----
'It may be that when we no longer know what to do,
We have come to our real work,
And that when we no longer know which way to go,
We have begun our real journey'
- Wendell Berry

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2009
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 8:45am

Good Morning...


In the Healing Library there is a post about the stages of grieving.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2008
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 8:56am

Im abit late on ringing in on this one, but I hope your funk has passed today.

Like the others have said it is normal. I used to have alot of those days---everynow and then I still do. For me I was crying over the loss of what I thought I had, the loss of dreams.

Im not sure how long youre out of the A....but we've all been there and ya know; sometimes we need to sit down and have a good cry about everything not only the obvious but that healthy release of emotions. Just dont get caught up in it being a regular thing.

Put the big girl pants on, pity party is over and lets get on with moving forward and feeling goood!!

Debbra
hugs