Sad Today
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Sad Today
| Fri, 02-04-2011 - 9:51pm |
I'm really sorry I haven't been around much. I guess the truth is; I'm going through a rough patch.
I had a couple of triggers this week and they've set me back and I'm just having such a hard time with it because I thought I was past all of this!!! I was having a pity party and now I'm just going through a rough patch because I don't understand why. Why it happened in the first place; why my supposed friend threw away 12 years of friendship; why I got wrapped up in it; why my heart still feels broken. It makes me angry because he shouldn't be allowed to be in my heart anymore.
I'm finding it really hard to remain NC these days. I wonder what he's doing and how he's been. My cousin lives really close to him and I'm going to visit her this weekend. I am so tempted to reach out. I know its not a good idea. I know why NC works. I know if I were to reach out, I'd only get hurt...but dang it....it just feel so sad today anyways.
Sorry I sound like such a whiner and thanks for letting me vent.
I had a couple of triggers this week and they've set me back and I'm just having such a hard time with it because I thought I was past all of this!!! I was having a pity party and now I'm just going through a rough patch because I don't understand why. Why it happened in the first place; why my supposed friend threw away 12 years of friendship; why I got wrapped up in it; why my heart still feels broken. It makes me angry because he shouldn't be allowed to be in my heart anymore.
I'm finding it really hard to remain NC these days. I wonder what he's doing and how he's been. My cousin lives really close to him and I'm going to visit her this weekend. I am so tempted to reach out. I know its not a good idea. I know why NC works. I know if I were to reach out, I'd only get hurt...but dang it....it just feel so sad today anyways.
Sorry I sound like such a whiner and thanks for letting me vent.

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Cait - have you read a book called "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman?
During my A,
cait, we all have our ups and downs... but the important thing is to hang on and keep on moving forward.
(((cait)))
Decade, it DOES
I appreciate everyone here, but moreso the vets who have come back or hang around to support the newbies. I think THOSE are the ones who have truly healed.
I am optmisitic - I am not even 2 weeks out and I feel SO much better - the ache is dull, though constantly there, rather than sharp. And, i beleive that dull ache will disappear with time and patience....
I couldn't agree more :)
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