Safe spots

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Safe spots
8
Sat, 10-23-2010 - 1:38pm

Hi everyone,

A month ago a terrible tragedy happened in our neighborhood.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2009
In reply to: jen36jen
Sat, 10-23-2010 - 2:21pm

Jen,

I am sorry that you are going through this. Purchasing a safely device was a good idea. May I also sugget that you google "Affirmations about fear" and there you will find some things you will be able to say to yourself if you are feeling at all anxious. They suggest not to say things like, "I am not scared" but instead phrase it in the positive sense such as, "I feel safe."

Hope this helps a little,

Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life. ~ Buddha
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
In reply to: jen36jen
Sat, 10-23-2010 - 3:41pm
Thank you Iddy, I will look that up. The safety device is one step, it's the fear in my mind that I am having trouble with. I don't want to give into the fear and this suggestion is very helpful. Thank you again Iddy i am getting so much help from EAS, and your help on this one has given my mind ease that I don't need to do this on my own, help is a post away:)

Have a wonderful day! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
In reply to: jen36jen
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 11:08am

Jen,

I am so sorry about this poor girl, about your assault, and the linger feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
In reply to: jen36jen
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 1:32pm

Thank you Dee,

I am sorry to hear about the assault to you as a teen as well, you are so right about the post traumatic stress lasting a life time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
In reply to: jen36jen
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 3:23pm

Jen,

First, (((((MAY THE LORD BE WITH THE YOUNG GIRL & HER FAMILY IN THIS TRAGEDY & their grief.)))))

Second, TRIGGERS...I TOTALLY relate to the PTSD - reaction to certain triggers. Also, know that it's very normal to 'react' with an intense need for emotional / social support when triggered. One of the reasons I've been trying to keep as much (controllable) drama down in my life is so that I dont suddenly feel the URGE / NEED for a friend who "wasn't my friend". Old habit. Like Picking up a cigarette...to comfort myself after I've quit.

Regarding creating your own safety...WHERE & WHEN do you feel safest now?

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
In reply to: jen36jen
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 11:29pm

Hi M,

One of my safe spots is with my Daughter, Son and my Daughters boyfriend.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2010
In reply to: jen36jen
Sun, 10-24-2010 - 11:51pm

awwwwwwww YOURE SO KIND!!!

I got such a CALMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM over me, reading who you are when you're MOST comfortable. I mean SERIOUSLY. :)

I so completely completely COMPLETELY get what you mean about the daughter and her boyfriend. ohmy! I currently live with my 22 yr old daughter (8mos pregnant) , her boyfriend / baby daddy / family friend for many years and my youngest daughter, 18.

Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. I started looking inside and went NC October 15, 2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
In reply to: jen36jen
Tue, 10-26-2010 - 2:22am

Michelle,

Your dog is so adorable!