same prob as kerry72

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
same prob as kerry72
3
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 4:27pm
Im just so upset right now...I met my OM at the club..we used to work together but never talked well this time we went all the way...3 times in about 2 hours =) anyway when I was leaving he asked if I would ever come back I said I would...which now i dont understand why he ever asked me that...now he will not answer his cell and yesterday I ran into him driving past me going to college and I got caught by the red lite well when I got to college he was pulling in and it looked like to me he was trying to hide his truck so I would not come over there and talk to him...he used me so bad and Im so infacuteted with him..I cant get him out of my mind...I cant sleep at night...I feel so stupid...I know I will see him again at the club one night..should I talk to him and ask him what happend or just ignore him? he knows im crazy about him too...I should have never slept with him so fast..he proably thought I cheated on my H all the time but he was the first..he makes me hate myself...but I loved the way he made me feel that day when I was with him...please let me know Im not crazy...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 4:49pm
LS,

You are not crazy. I think most of us have felt obsessed and so scared that the OM is going to just walk away... and yours might - that is one possibility. Mine would ALWAYS pull away from me after we'd been together because he said (much later on, not at first) that he would back off to keep me from getting too attached. And the more attached I acted, the more he'd distance from me... I just didn't realize what was happening until months later when we finally talked about it.

Like you, I slept with my XMM before I knew him as well as I should have (although honestly I was married and NEVER should have, but you know what I mean). Ironically, I know him much better now since we ended the affair and actually talked a lot more... My XMM did know I had never cheated before, never been with any man except my H in my entire life. How well did you know yours - did you talk much to the OM before you slept with him? Maybe he is just completely scared because of what happened and that you are married. Is he married too?

Most of us loved the way we felt with our OM... that is a huge part of it, especially I think for the married women here. The only thing I can say is you are not crazy, you are not alone in how you feel... try to back off a little and see if you can calmly talk to him at some point... I suspect from what you say that the more you chase him, the faster he'll run. My XMM was an expert in that area! Good luck and I hope this helped at least a little...

Glinda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 7:03pm
LS:

I'm sorry for what you are going through. It hurts to feel rejected in that way and I think that is what forces them into our minds all the more. You are not crazy. I have realized that many women are going through the same feelings that we are experiencing. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

Karry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
Wed, 05-07-2003 - 7:10pm
Well about two years ago we worked together but nothing ever happend we never even talked...we did'nt even know eachother then about a month ago I ran into him at the club and we dance and he said he rememberd me and we started flirting...the teh next month I saw him again and he gave me his #...so I called we meet and then had sex...so no I did not know him...but he asked me to come back so it made me feel like he wanted to get to know me...which now I dont know what is going on...maybe he just wanted a one time thing..oh pluse when we meet he had been talking to a girl for about two weeks..he is only 22 and single...he is a little player...please help