saw him kissing ....
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| Mon, 09-13-2004 - 4:37pm |
SO, walking home from a school meeting I was behind MM and his wife, doing my best to keep out of sight and go a different way. Our paths had to cross to get home though and I saw him stop and give her a long, deep kiss in a place that he used to stop and kiss me! OUCH! I walked fast and pretended not to see them but the big JERK saw me and called out to me and was Mr. Cheerful - joking with me, talking....with his wife right there. I felt like a slug - a tiny unimportant piece of crap on the sidewalk. I KNOW they have a relationship - but I never have to see it! One more reminder of why I need out of this!
He is a slime ball - and I just keep giving him attention that he wants but doesn't deserve from me.
I read one of True's posts about reading the betrayed spouses board. I will go there.
Until now I have only put this woman down and compared myself to her - always assuming I was better than her. I'm generally not that kind of person - and I have nothing against her at all! I feel sorry for her to be hooked up with a jerk like him. Not only have I ignored what I could do to her and her family but I have actually brought myself to not liking her and thinking mean things about a person I don't even know!
Just wanted to vent! It hurts - and I hate it.
Now, I have another question to ask in a different post....

So sorry you had to see that. What an awkward situation! You sound like you made it through like a champ and held your head high, even though he made you feel so low. One more day closer to healing.
I know what you mean about the OM's wife. I went through the same thing. I've met my OM's girlfriend and she is pretty, sweet, never gave me any reason not to like her. But I found myself being jealous and comparing myself and feeling like I was winning something over on her. (What a joke that is!) On Friday I stopped and thought about it...I was doing something really crappy to another woman who has done nothing to deserve that. I really do believe we are all connected, and that I was hurting her for no reason, even if she never knows. I suddenly was filled with compassion for her, because she is living with a guy who has cheated on her before, several times, and would do it again in a heartbeat. He doesn't believe we are programmed to be monogomous. That is really sad. Maybe we aren't, I don't know. But we do have free will to choose not to act on urges, and not to hurt those who love us.
So hopefully, if OM contacts me again and I start to lose the perspective I'm gaining, I will think about her and my H, and snap out of it.
Hugs,
Lily
EXACTLY what my MM said! It must make it easier for them!
It did hurt a lot to see the kiss. It keeps going through my head. I am mad at him even though I have no right to be.
It is okay though - getting blown off yet another time and seeing this just makes it easier for me to stick to my guns.
Thanks for the kind words!
-Lazy
I know that really must have hurt seeing him kiss her. Is there any chance he knew you were there and was trying to make her jealous?
That's a great attitude you're taking...stick to those guns. You're sanity is mch more important than his ego.
:) I'm always here if you need me!
Thanks so much - your posts help so much!
I have to see him at school this morning and I am NOT looking forward to it.
I keep making myself see that kiss and it will help me NOT accept his usual coffee invitation - what got me into this mess in the first place!
I do think he must have known I was near. If I could see him, he MUST have been able to see me. Oh - what an A**!
Saying that - it still smarts when I think of it and gives me a stomach ache.
Thanks for being there. I check this board a lot lately - but at weird times - I live overseas for the timebeing.
Anyway - Thanks!
I seems to be he did what he did for the "pleasure" of HURTING you, way would you want to be the friend of this SLUG, if he were your friend he would not hurt you on purpose and that is what he did.
I suggest you cut your loses and tell him the last part of you he is going to kiss is your butt.
JMHO
Free
I agree with you about him wanting to hurt me!!
I did encounter him and his wife after the kiss and I told them I had just had a cellphone conversation with my husband about staying overseas longer than I wanted to. I said I was ready to come home - it was true and it was the only thing that popped into my head as I jabbered on trying NOT to let him know I saw them.
I saw him this morning and he kept asking me if I was upset for any reason. I told him No, and asked why he would wonder about that. He said when he spoke to me on the way home (after kiss) I seemed stressed etc.
Duh - what did he expect????
I totally played dumb and told him that I wasn't sure what he was talking about because there was nothing for me to be upset with him - "why would I be upset with you? we have gotten along really well lately..." - and I reminded him of my conversation with my husband and went immediatly into a conversation about me being ready to move. THEN he asked me if I wanted to move because of him - and I had to laugh in his face! I told him his ego was too big if he thought that I would want to move because of him! I'm such a liar! I was upset with him and I said I wanted to move because of how he made me feel. I will not let him know that.
He kept pressing me this morning! Trying to rub it in I suppose! Jerk!
I think he wanted me to tell him that I was hurt.
Argh! I just won't let him know anymore! I actually think he likes hurting me!
Keep me posted!
:)
Lily
Being narcissistic is about POWER, he needs to feel like the most important thing in your life, your refusing him that and he is acting out like a spoiled child trying to get attention, very immature.
I suggest that he continue to get a ZERO reaction from you to naything he says or does other then being basicly polite but disinterested.
Hold the line you don't want a mental patient spinning you up to get his laughs.
Free