Saw MM today

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Saw MM today
Thu, 12-02-2004 - 5:59pm

MM stopped by my house this morning. I was in shock and wasn't expecting him. We had a good long talk about him working on his M, why he felt he couldn't contact me over the weekend, and of course, our feelings for eachother. I also gave him the letter I wrote the other day that I was gonna leave on his car. He told me that he knows I just want to get on with my life and he doesn't blame me if I hate him. I said I could never hate him, but it's time for me to step off this rollercoaster and move on and let him fix his life. I told him that if we were meant to be, we would've been, but there must be other plans in store for us. And he said "or maybe we're just not meant to be RIGHT NOW." (Is that to keep me hanging on?????) He told me that he doesn't think he can get through this pain without me. I don't know what that means, since he says he can't contact me and knows I won't contact him. I got to give him my final hugs and kisses goodbye. When I watched him get back into his car he flashed me the "I love you" sign. Then I shut the door and cried.

Now something weird about his W (my x-friend). He told her last night about the IC part of our R and he said she took that pretty well, that she even tried to joke with him about it. He said that she plans on calling me to tell me that she doesn't blame me for what happened, she blames him and herself for letting things get that bad. I don't know why she would do that. I was her friend. And why joke about your H cheating? He said that she's having a hard time seeing the seriousness of our R. She thinks that when we told eachother "I Love You" that it was just a bunch of words being thrown around. Or maybe she's in denial? I don't know but I don't want her to call me. Anyway, I'm very sad, but doing ok. I'm glad he stopped by so we could end this without any hurtful feelings toward eachother. Now I just miss him.