Saying old friends and new faces

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2010
Saying old friends and new faces
Sun, 01-27-2013 - 12:24pm


How is everyone. I have not been here in months. I used to be here daily. I have been affiar free for well over 3 years. I was a straight hot mess, my story is long and way too depressing to even go into. I will say, that there is love, life, and pure joy after an affair. Life really does go on and you can forgive yourself and those that hurt you, especially those of us who hurt ourselves. I hurt myself more than MM ever did. I was my own worst enemy. I grew up watching an affair, despising my mother for the pain she caused so many and then I became exactly what I hated. Go figure....

All that to say. STICK it out. Stay NC. Follow the rules and what is tried, tested and true. I have known Clarity for years and there is no one better to run this board...I have seen people come and go. I have made some great friends here, some of which I communicate with in real one another. Don't take a real response as a insult. Take it from somewhere who has been there and done that. The tweeners and vets are here to support the newbies. The newbies remind of us of how slippery the slope is...and the pain that keeps us on the straight and narrow. Letting go is tough, staying a A hell is way worse....

So nice to see some of my old friends here. Trust me....there is joy, strength and better you post A...I am proof, as are so many others. Blessings and strength to you all.

Yo Soy EL Capitan de Mi Vida
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011

Hi Luvin, it's good to see you.

I actually had to log in 3 times to post this, so you know I mean it, LOL.

You are so right, it gets so much better.  As RBM says, you have to give time, time.

I am 20 months out of my A, and 13 months NC and I am no longer torturing myself with thoughts of xAP hourly.

Some days I hardly think about him at all.

This is new, just in the last month or so.

And I will *take it*!!!




Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010
Sun, 01-27-2013 - 4:29pm


Glad to see you drop in. 

The story never changes, it just keeps rolling along. The joy is that sooner or later, we are all going to find the good place to be.

Thanks for all the nice words.


We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

Hellooooo old friend!  Good to hear from you!

Great post, too.  We can never hear enough success stories...people who have made it out and have moved on and living the good life.

I'm thrilled you were able to make here despite all the problems created by the switchover.  And now that I know you CAN get here, would love to see you get here more often.  Please don't make me play my Jewish guilt card :D



p.s.  thank you for your kind words 

Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board