scared all the time

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
scared all the time
5
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 12:00pm
What the heck is going on here? I was good about this, wanted to end it for my own good, did it, felt fine (well, okay, not fine but justified) and now everyday is harder than the day before. Is it just sinking in now? and why am I so scared and of what? I don't understand why my hands are always shaking and I feel completely out of sorts. I'm fine if I'm at home but the minute I leave the house I'm overcome with anxiety. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you get by it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 12:58pm
I felt this way when I had seen OM in the recent future. I did get a bit back to my normal self after not seeing and talking to him in a while. How long has it been since you seen him or had any contact? For me it was the confusion of the marriage and the A at the same time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 1:57pm

Hi Aimes,

I went through similiar emotions, most of all being scared that I would never see him again or feel the way he made me feel. I guess it is normal to feel anxious because my anxiety level was always at high whenever I was by myself. I was also felt nervous all the time. Try to keep yourself distracted. What helped me out alot was I would go to the gym and I felt alot of frustration released when I was there. I started to concentrate on my marriage. I can tell you that my marriage feels right again and I feel wanted and very loved by my husband, he never found out about the affair, but the affair almost destroyed me emotionally specially when it ended. It has been over since Aug 04. I am happy I have been through rough times but I am alot stronger and happier than ever. I feel the weights where lifted off my shoulders.

Time heals all wounds, keep posting, this board you will find to be a great help, it was for me when I needed it. There are so many great people here ready to help.

Take Care
Ladybug

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2005
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 2:01pm
I haven't seen him in almost two weeks, I talked to him very briefly a week ago when I had an emergency at my house and he is the only person I know in the area who could go by and check (I called his work-after normal business hours-because I knew he would be working late). I can't call him, his cell phone belonged to me, I took it back. We is not allowed calls at work and I certainly can't call his ex wife's house so the n/c is purely his decision, not that I'm not glad about it. I'm single so i'm not trying to put another relationship back together. I have no idea why i'm so anxious and scared.
I feel like crap today.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 2:39pm

Dear Aimes:

I felt anxious and scared all the time every day for a long, long time. I was M for 22 yrs and had never lived alone so I thought that was what made me so afraid. Also, I had left my H for xMM and right when I moved out he backed out so I thought that not having him and that "dream" made me scared. I spent alot of time with friends, watched alot of tv, read 100 books, hibernated in bed and slept (although going out was better for me) so go out and cried a houseful of tears, journaled almost every day, prayed alot. It took a long, long time to feel not afraid.

What i found was that I would focus on xMM and feel sad more when I was afraid--when i was worried about things in my *real* life and I didn't want to face up to them. Greiving over xMM was my escape just as the A was the escape. Now I am back living my *real* life and I am not scared and afraid of it anymore because I get to make it how I want it.

Survive

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2004
Thu, 01-20-2005 - 2:58pm
aimes,
congrats on taking such a big step. I know it hurts like hell and I also have had alot of anxiety. It does subside with time. You just have to take the bad days in stride. It's kind of like an addiction in a way. You finally decide to really decide to choose NC and stick with it and it WILL get better. Like quitting smoking, you put the butt out for the last time (great analogy huh?) and you do NOT pick one up again. The first few days all the crap works its way out of your system, you shake, you feel like crap you want to pick one up again so bad you cry. But you KNOW if you do you will be putting all the crap (nicotine, married men, what have you) back in your system and its back to day 1. To really truly heal you cannot beat around the bush with it. I have quit both smoking and my addiction to a bad man. They both will eventually give you a cancer in the end if you don't watch out! One will take your lungs the other your soul!
Trust me it gets better every day!
And i hardly ever want a cogarette anymore! wink wink
~nuttmeg