Screw with the Bull U get the horns
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| Sat, 01-29-2005 - 4:45pm |
I havent been on here in a few weeks, things were going great for me and I was putting everything about xmm behind me.
Until yesterday when I found out some disturbing news.
XMM already has someone else, the disturbing thing is I always had and inkling that maybe I wasnt his first A, eventhough he swore up and down that I was. (he was mine) Of course it is his new Secretary, she is married with kids too!!! And I know her H!! So does our mutal friend that worked with xmm, he is so mad at xmm that he quit his job with xmm this week, cause he is the one who introduced them and asked her to come work for xmm company.
When he wanted to break things off with me this summer(thats when she started working there)his speech was like, You know we both are good and decent people we arent cheaters and we owe it to our spouses to try to work things out. This coming from a Man who for the last 4 years hated his wife and his marriage to her. I smelled something fishy in that whole speech and the demeanor it which he was telling me.
So now I am going backwards, instead of forwards, I keep replaying the conversations that he said about us being together for ever and i was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. What where lies and what was the truth? I just feel horribly played.
I just wander how he keeps all of our names straight!!!!
You dont know how bad i wanted to tell his W, but I knew that it would harm my family too cause my A would come out with him too!!! That would crush my family.
So you know the say a Women Scorned, well I knew some information about Xmm business that wasnt ethical, and I also know that a few others where awhere of this too. So i am not to worried about him finding out who leaked it, well I called our States contrator's fraud hotline and turned him in.
It seems what he did is pretty severe and they are going to investigate it next week!!!
I know that is bad, but boy is it making me feel a whole lot better to know he is gonna feel hurt.
onthegochick

Onthegochick-
I know how hurt you must feel. I was also told I was MM first A and found out later it wasn't true.
However...I don't know as hurt as I have been if I would do something to hurt him as you did. Vengence is not ours and this could come back and bite you big.
I hope he doesn't find out it was you for the sake of you and your family.
JMHO
SS
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It seems what he did is pretty severe and they are going to investigate it next week!!!
I know that is bad, but boy is it making me feel a whole lot better to know he is gonna feel hurt.>>>
You may well have hurt him professionally, OTGC. XMM may be fired or have charges pressed or licences and/or assets stripped, hey, even possibly some jail time.
I wonder who you've ultimately injured here. Who is most likely to suffer long-term in this scenario? How about his wife & children?
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Even if by some slim chance he & his family never discover it was you who ratted him out, you've just successfully crushed his family.
I'm actually in the front line of the ratting out business and my offices are in local police stations. It's usually a very simple process of elimination of who knows what, to what extent and who would benefit from revealing information now.
What do you suppose exMM's retaliation might be when he puts two & two together and comes up with OTGC as most likely informant? When he has nothing left to lose? When he has no incentive to continue concealing the details of your affair? Or wishes to show you the horns of his very own bull?
I guess it was okay for him to be unethical professionally while he was being unethical personally with you, just not when he chooses to be unethical personally with someone else.
Prepare for fall-out, OTGC. Buckle up, strap yourself in and hope exMM draws the line at destruction of your family even when you couldn't draw that line yourself in destroying his.
Strength & peace,
Posie
Well, what's done is done but may I make a suggestion that you need to pay close attention to? However this unfolds, do not share what you have done with anyone, not even your closest friends. It *Will* leak out because by nature, people cannot keep their mouths shut, no matter what they promise.
I am not going to judge you or reprimand you. In all honesty, I came close to doing the same thing once, but I have always had a fear of the karma train.......but I can completely understand the
I agree Posie.
OTGC, I can understand the anger and hurt you must be feeling at discovering you weren't his only affair. But you are going to devastate his family just as much as him.
I won't give you the schpeel about doing onto others and all that since I've done onto others as I pray will never be done to me (as an OW), but jeez. This is going to bring a backlash, sweetie.
Now might be the time to sit your husband down and confess your own indescretions. It will be far easier for him to hear it from you than for xMM to decide to unleash his own fury on your unsuspecting DH in the form of graphic details of what transpired.
I hope you find peace, OTGC. And that two families aren't destroyed in the process.
Good luck to you!
"When I meet a man, I ask myself 'Is t
Hiya Burnie,
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Now would, indeed, be an ideal time for OTGC to begin exercises in damage limitation.
If this isn't something OTGC feels safe or able to implement herself, I'd suggest booking an MC appointment so there is a neutral 3rd party involve who would have a great deal of experience in being able to safely guide such a discussion in the safe environs of the MC's offices.
From experience in the field, this will backfire. There are no actions without consequences, be they good, bad or purple. It may be sooner or it may well be later, but it is extremely unlikely that OTGC's name isn't going to crop up as a possible/likely informant. Questions & accusations will arise.
One thing I've learned in the course of my job is that when one is busy goring someone else, one's own hiney is left fully exposed to attack.
I genuinely hope OTGC finds the strength & courage to meet this head on.
Strength & peace,
Posie
I know this is an absolutely serious topic, but putting my writer's hat on, Posie, I have to say that you're quite good.
As for the actual topic here, a counselor seems an excellent idea. Then lay low and hope the sky doesn't fall. It could turn out to be a sunny day, you know.
Time will tell. I hope, above all, you find peace and grace.
Newsgal
Onthegochick,
He must have really hurt you for you to have done something like that to him. I certainly understand why you did it...revenge seems sweet. Unfortunately, it rarely really is.
It's all been said by others and the lesson learned should be to think of every consequence not react in anger, regardless of how understandably you're hurting.
Beyond hoping this doesn't come back on you, have you thought of the affect on others who have nothing to do with this - if the investigation goes ahead and finds problems, have you just cost others their jobs?
Hope the dust settles soon.
MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MS