Before I began reading this board, I broke it off with xAP and I, too, set a date (3mos in the future) to "check back in". That date is Feb 1st. When I broke NC soon after the break up, xAP said that he wanted NC, that we couldn't be 'friends' and basically followed all of the EAS rules --- except! that when I said, "so, then, I assume that the agreement to check in on Feb 1st is off?" he replied, "I guess we'll assess our needs at that time and decide." I was unprepared to respond appropriately and I said, "I will not initiate contact with you ever again, so if you break NC on Feb 1st, it's up to you."
I am 100% certain that he will not try to reestablish a R, or even offer to be 'friends' -- but I think he will probably want to know that I am well and hear that I wish him the same.
What do I do? totally ignore him? Or do I respond if he IMs and tell him, very briefly, "I'm well. Wish you well. NC from this point on." ???
I hope this is not hijacking since both Dignity and I have the same problem looming -- except that her AP's attitude is a little different.
I read your other post also. Welcome to EAS which the letters have come to mean Earning Abandoned Self-Esteem. It seems like all of us left our self-esteem at the edge when we dove into the A Abyss.
Under the circumstances of the meeting you did well.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
I just wanted to jump in here and put my 35 cents in. I don’t think it is hijacking as you both have the dates hanging over your head.
Mine is a simple response.
Dee, if he had something going on with his wife on February 1st do you think he would hesitate to kick you to the curb and not contact you?
Sorry but if he contacts you it is only because he is throwing you crumbs. Don't give someone the time of day that has made it clear that you are only an option. Take your power back and plan to do anything on this day except respond to any of his messages. That duct tape bikini wax is looking like a better option!
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
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Dignity,
You did an amazing job, especially considering the emotions that
~Iddy~
Proud of you, Dignity :)
Hi Dignity!
When you spoke of his crying, what popped in my head was "it's manipulation".
Congratulations on taking your dignity back...well at least until February 13th.
Totally agree with
Before I began reading this board, I broke it off with xAP and I, too, set a date (3mos in the future) to "check back in". That date is Feb 1st. When I broke NC soon after the break up, xAP said that he wanted NC, that we couldn't be 'friends' and basically followed all of the EAS rules --- except! that when I said, "so, then, I assume that the agreement to check in on Feb 1st is off?" he replied, "I guess we'll assess our needs at that time and decide." I was unprepared to respond appropriately and I said, "I will not initiate contact with you ever again, so if you break NC on Feb 1st, it's up to you."
I am 100% certain that he will not try to reestablish a R, or even offer to be 'friends' -- but I think he will probably want to know that I am well and hear that I wish him the same.
What do I do? totally ignore him? Or do I respond if he IMs and tell him, very briefly, "I'm well. Wish you well. NC from this point on." ???
I hope this is not hijacking since both Dignity and I have the same problem looming -- except that her AP's attitude is a little different.
Thanks!!! help! xoxox
Dee
Hi DP,
I read your other post also. Welcome to EAS which the letters have come to mean Earning Abandoned Self-Esteem. It seems like all of us left our self-esteem at the edge when we dove into the A Abyss.
Under the circumstances of the meeting you did well.
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Hey Dee :)
BLOCK HIM and/or IGNORE HIM.
Hi Dee,
I just wanted to jump in here and put my 35 cents in. I don’t think it is hijacking as you both have the dates hanging over your head.
Mine is a simple response.
Dee, if he had something going on with his wife on February 1st do you think he would hesitate to kick you to the curb and not contact you?
Sorry but if he contacts you it is only because he is throwing you crumbs. Don't give someone the time of day that has made it clear that you are only an option. Take your power back and plan to do anything on this day except respond to any of his messages. That duct tape bikini wax is looking like a better option!
Remember
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.
Ouch...that smarts.
NC since 2/4/2010
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