You did quite well under the circumstances so no brow beating from me, just a little warning from someone who's been there. I thought I'd orchestrated a very nice "ending" this past spring. We chatted on the phone for hours wrapping up loose ends. The only thing is that he said we'd be giving each other up for Lent which meant that Easter all bets were off. I told him no, that if we did it and kept NC that long that we should consider it totally over. Of course, my words did not match my thoughts because it was easier knowing that I had an out should I change my mind and want to talk with him again. We did go NC and each week I was feeling better and I even went a week past Easter cause I thought "I won't break it but surely he will." He didn't...but I did. I sent a stupid little text message. He didn't respond right away, I think maybe a day or maybe it only seemed like a day. :) But all the time I didn't hear from him I was beating myself up for even sending it. Especially because I didn't receive a rapid reply. Well, sure enough, he missed me and I missed him and we started emailing again and it wasn't long before we were back at being in a LDA. I continued the roller coaster ride until this past October when he (out of the blue) sent me a Dear Jane email. I'd been wanting to go NC but just couldn't pull the trigger and he decided to do it for me. We've had LC since the beginning of November and, again, it's me who's had the difficulty staying away. He, so far, has been pretty good at NC. I'm getting better and have restarted the clock as of January 12th. No more contact. That's what my goal is every day now.
Now you can't say that no one told you what the consequences will be.
OMG what you said makes so much sense. I haven't read this whole thread yet as I sit here in my office crying. We have just ended a 13 year affair with my boss. This is so freaking hard. I have to be strong today and not give in to him. I will read these threads and hopefully I can say strong today. Thanks.
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I don't mean that to sound like I am trying to wriggle out of anything.
NC since 2/4/2010
You did quite well under the circumstances so no brow beating from me, just a little warning from someone who's been there. I thought I'd orchestrated a very nice "ending" this past spring. We chatted on the phone for hours wrapping up loose ends. The only thing is that he said we'd be giving each other up for Lent which meant that Easter all bets were off. I told him no, that if we did it and kept NC that long that we should consider it totally over. Of course, my words did not match my thoughts because it was easier knowing that I had an out should I change my mind and want to talk with him again. We did go NC and each week I was feeling better and I even went a week past Easter cause I thought "I won't break it but surely he will." He didn't...but I did. I sent a stupid little text message. He didn't respond right away, I think maybe a day or maybe it only seemed like a day. :) But all the time I didn't hear from him I was beating myself up for even sending it. Especially because I didn't receive a rapid reply. Well, sure enough, he missed me and I missed him and we started emailing again and it wasn't long before we were back at being in a LDA. I continued the roller coaster ride until this past October when he (out of the blue) sent me a Dear Jane email. I'd been wanting to go NC but just couldn't pull the trigger and he decided to do it for me. We've had LC since the beginning of November and, again, it's me who's had the difficulty staying away. He, so far, has been pretty good at NC. I'm getting better and have restarted the clock as of January 12th. No more contact. That's what my goal is every day now.
Now you can't say that no one told you what the consequences will be.
good luck dignity,
ND4MLK
I went back and re-read my post to make sure I didn't make you go ouch, and I figure it was the truth that made you go ouch.
I'm sorry.
NC since 2/4/2010
Today,
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