Seriously, I do not need this right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2011
Seriously, I do not need this right now.
Fri, 11-23-2012 - 4:18pm

Honestly, I am still finding it hard to post, especially from my phone which is all I can access the board from in the evening and on weekends.  Sometiimes my post will post and sometimes it won't so it's really tough to want to write out a long heartfelt response to someone, much as I would like to, when HALF the time, it won't post!

And still no easy way to check if you have a PM on the phone.

Further, when I log on via my desktop, I always get some dumb message telling me I am not authorized to post.  Then it fixes itself.  Grrrr.


Then there is my other, more serious gripe.

I am almost a year out and while, no doubt, I am MUCH better off than I was a year ago, things still crop up and slap me in the face and I am sick of it.  I wish I could just take a pill and forget about him already.  I mean, I am glad for all that I have learned in the last 18 months and I wouldn't give that up, but Jesus, Joseph and Mary, could it just be OVER already?


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2012
Feeling better after that vent? lol. No matter who leaves who, it usually takes some time after a realtionship to heal, pills are not good though. Hang in there and stay busy, before you know it and probably without realizing it one day you will wake up and have gotten over him. Maybe its time to start dating.
Avatar for ratherbeme
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2010


THE BOARDS: They aren't going to get better, at least not for a while, IF.......ever.  Gradually is about the best you can expect, if that. Reality! It's been a long time and we can't even do the simple things that we used to do. It isn't a priority, evidently. As long as the present conditions exist, you can't expect improvement. 

Work: That is a challenge. Is it really crappy or you just feeling crappy?  There has to be people out there in the idustry who would be happy to listen to your problems give you guidance. Every sales position I ever had, I belonged to professional groups who not only shared success, but were great mentors to struggling people.

Husband: Three kids and both of you having high pressure jobs and the pressures of everyday life?  Yes I understand.  BUT.....I hear two people who are not sharing life together when one thinks they are NOT getting enough sex. A quick fix can be a roll in the hay, but a real fix is becoming more one in spirit. When this happens, it tough to get back on the right path. Don't get to far off track. Marriages are just like jobs, they have to be worked.

xAP: Friend? Friendship? I've said it all before. Enough said. I'm proud of you for being NC this long. You have been hanging onto that friendship thing way too long. When you crossed the line, you ended that.

My question is what are you going to do about these things?  They aren't going to get better by themselves.  Only going to go downhill from here unless you intervene. My old friend always says, A Goal without a Plan is just a Dream.  Defining what the problems are, is as hard as finding the answers.

What are you going to do? Where can you get help? Who are you going to get it from?


We only miss what could have been. I know I don't miss what it really was.

Avatar for wClarity
Community Leader
Registered: 11-04-2012

iVillage Help — iVillage

If you are able to post your posting problem, post it there.  If you have a problem doing so, let me know and I will post it for you.

And yes!  Maybe you should start dating! LOL!!!  I guess someone IS bored.

I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed out.  I know I sound like a broken record with my suggestion about 'listing making', but really, it works when you list things out that need addressing.

1.  Problem/want/need

2.  What can *I* do to make it happen or at least get the balling rolling 'towards' resolution; such as, sit down and have a pow wow my husband...tell him what's going on with me and find out what's going on with him), and, find a co-worker or someone in management I can go to...or see if there is an employee assistance program.

At least you doing something about it, and that always makes us feel better.

Again, I feel like I am repeating myself...get some 'me' time carved out...when you are absolutely unavailable to anyone.  Even if you think there is no time....make the time for your own wellbeing.  Use it to mediate, just relax and think of nothing, or have a little power nap, do some breathing exercises...all these act like mental floss.

Thanks for the reassurance that you will not do anything stupid.  Why compound the situation.



Community Leader,

Ending an Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2012

Hi Rain,

 I know how you feel about wanting to forget them.   I think for me it's a fear that if I'm not thinking of him then maybe he's not thinking of me anymore.  It's a fear of letting go, knowing he's probably letting go, too.  I know this is what I have to do to move on, but it's scary and I think we just have to give ourselves permission to let them go,  reassure ourselves that everything will be ok and life goes on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2011
Rain (((((hugs))))))))!!! I have been thinking about you lately! I feel your frustration girlfriend! Over the holidays I sent my son an email and I was complaining about a "family" member being rude and horrible to me. You know what that did said to me? " glad that YOU are able to be happy"....."Be grateful for all that you have in your life". Dang that kid....those words stopped me dead in my tracks! He is so very right. Why I have a habit on focusing on the perceived "lack" in life...and so forth is something I have control over. We all have the power in us to live a better life....I work very hard to live on a higher level...not easy...but the times I get there....I am pretty happy. Rain...I know what an awesome lady you are....YOU deserve the very best in life. I hope all gets better for you! (((((hugs))))))) Progression