set yourself up for success
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| Sat, 08-14-2010 - 1:15pm |
It's so great to log in on a Saturday and see so many posts. I love that the newbies are keeping it active over the weekends, especially when it's usually so slow. Way to go, Ladies (and dude!) Oh, another thing... I think 'newbie' has a pejorative ring to it and I was wondering if y'all wanted to change that word from newbie to pre-tweener! ;) what do you think?
Ok, so getting back on subject - I wanted to encourage all y'all pre-tweeners to set yourselves up for success today, and all the days to follow, by challenging you to delete every single remnant of A history. Delete every single IM history, email... all of it. don't read them first; just delete. Delete all the accounts that you used to communicate secretly. Throw out all the mementos, too. There is not a single good reason to keep any of that stuff. And doing so will only give you the opportunity to self-destruct, wallow, and be set back in your healing. It doesn't matter what argument you give to keep that stuff around, I guaran-damn-tee you that no matter how far out of your A you are, revisiting any of that junk will HURT you.
I'm praying that all of you have a really healthy, positive day that you can all be proud of!
Much love,
Dee

Great idea Dee - I never kept any communication from XAP, but early on, Iddy advise me to clean out my closets. That was SO liberating too. I gave every piece of clothing that had a "memory" attached to it to good will. Even a dress that I really didn't want to part with because I loved the style of it. But I had to admit that every time I looked at it, I remembered the night I wore it - I was still married at the time, and I among some women being honored for volunteering. It was a sad night that should have been happy. So good riddance!
I don't sweat titles, but I like your idea of pre-tweener - maybe that's an honor we earn after a couple weeks. :)
Bodhi
D
I couldn't agree more.
I couldnt purge fast enough!! As soon as I felt XMM pulling away I deleated every email up till that point. Now granted we continued on with the A for 5 more agonizing months because I didnt want to let go or lose him. Yuck!!!!! Instead I lost my dignity, self esteem and almost my marriage...should have just given XMM the one fingered wave goodbye right away.
Anyway....I also threw away the cheap necklace he gave me and a sexy barely there number that I wore as a birthday present for him. Both of those went into the garbage can in the Walmart parking lot. Maybe one of the guys who collects the grocery carts at Walmart now has a smile on his face from watching me throw those items in the trash with the same fanfair as an NBA player making a slam dunk.
So pre-tweeners....dont scroll through those emails and reminisce or try to read between the lines to determine when things went sour...Purge em allow yourself to heal.
Remember..life isnt lived by looking in the rear view mirror.
GMLB
GMLB
I know this isn't a laughing matter, but you are REALLY making me laugh!
That made me laugh,too!! Love it.
I, being oh-so-subtle and never the drama queen, took a lighter to a first edition book (um, like 10 times because, boy, that sucker was NOT going to stay lit!) It was amazingly cathartic! Too bad we can't burn our laptops the same way.
Ditch that shiz,
Dee
That should be our new board name:
DtS
Ditch That Shiz.
LC/NC since April 14, 2010
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."
— Maya Angelou
Hi Dee,
Good stuff!
All that stuff (emails/text/pics/VM) is just congestion in your emotional system that needs to be coughed up and hocked like a big loogie.
Purge, purge, purge!!!
Much love and big hugs,
E1
PS:
Whether you think you can or you think you can't you are probably right. A parrot can repeat what it has learned but the mark of true intelligence is applying what is learned.